I Thought I Was More of a Pixie...

You Are a Brownie

Decadent and intense, you aren't for the weakhearted. Those who can deal with your strong flavor find out how sweet you really are.

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

Should I Get a Modifier Because I Was Worried About the Result?

You Are Confident and Secure

You are practically immune to insecurity and self doubt. You're comfortable with who you are, and if someone doesn't like you - that's not your problem. Some people think you're too confident, but that's just their insecurities shining through. Your confidence carries you through your worst moments, because you know you'll always come out fine.

Are You An Insecure Girl?

Both Crunchy and Delicious

My Husband is Biscotti

You are a very direct, honest person. You don't have time for dramatics or emotional pleas. You feel most comfortable in the intellectual realm, especially with science and technology. You are good at understanding difficult subjects. Understanding people? Not so much.

What Holiday Cookie Are You?

Happy Holidays!

You Are Red Lights

Your holidays are a time of warmth and sharing. No one epitomizes the spirit of giving as much as you do. You enjoy all of the tastes, sounds, smells, and sights of the holidays. You usually have the best decorations, music, and food.

What Color Christmas Lights Are You?

You Are a Jam Filled Cookie

You are an idea person. You're always thinking up something new. You're also quite persuasive. People are drawn to you and adopt your beliefs. You are energetic and ambitious. But most of all, you are charming. You are a natural leader, and you are ready to lead!

What Holiday Cookie Are You?

Shaken, Not Stirred

The Recipe For Sue London

3 parts Intellect 2 parts Craftiness 1 part Charm Splash of Attractiveness Finish off with a little umbrella and straw

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

Bow Wow

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest. However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are! Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk. You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

What Year Should You Have Been Born Under?

No, Really?

Your Snow Test Says You're Independent

You feel like something good will happen to you in the next few months. You love to work, especially when work is creative. You have the makings of a successful artist. You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing. Your biggest worry in life is your family. You stay up at night thinking about them. When it comes time to relax, you always go the extra mile. You take relaxing as seriously as anything else in life.

The Snow Test

I could survive for 44 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

I say, does anyone want to play a game of Scrabble?

You Are Scrabble

You are incredibly clever and witty. You can talk your way out of (and into) situations easily. You are an excellent decision maker. You are good at weighing the options in front of you. You're the type of person who can make something out of nothing. You are very resourceful. You know a lot of things. Most importantly, you know when people are wrong - even when they won't admit it.

What Board Game Are You?

Blog post title is a nod to one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite movies talking about one of my favorite games. It was Sir Didymus in Labyrinth, of course!

Creepy, Abandoned Chi-Chi's...

As many of our readers know, I used to work at Chi-Chi's Mexican Restaurante. I met my husband there and most of my best friends have worked there (as did three of my sisters-in-law). The chain started going downhill when it was sold to Family Restaurants, Inc. in the early 90s and I figured that by now it had died (other than the Hormel salsa and corn cake). Yes, the death knell for Chi-Chi's in America was apparently in 2004 (see Wikipedia entry).

However, the spirit of Chi-Chi's lives on in those of us who remember it's good years. One person collects photos of "Creepy, Abandoned Chi-Chi's" and shares them with us on her blog. Another set up a petition to get Chi-Chi's back in the U.S. Who that petition is going to I have no idea, but I'll sign it if it means I can order a yummy Cancun or shrimp Chajita with a big ole side of corn cake.

Also, if you're willing to go overseas you can check out the ones still in Belgium.

p.s. This company history is more in depth, but does not cover the closing.

Well, I'm No Prius....

24 miles per gallon

Created by The Car Connection

My Dog and His Weirdness

I've had a terrible cold all week, which means that I've been home wrapped up in blankets on the couch watching HGTV. With a cold I always crave orange juice. Now, I don't know about you, but I grew up with a lot of pets around so I have an unconscious list of things that are safe to set on a coffee table (i.e., close enough for an average sized dog to stick their nose in) and those things that are not safe. Based on the many dogs* I've lived with before, I had "glass of orange juice" on my safe list. Yeah. If you read my previous post you are way ahead of where I was as I set my glass down...

I was so slow, in fact, that I was a little curious as to why Herger was "sharking" the coffee table. He made a few passes that made the Jaws theme play in my head and I got as far as thinking, "Why in the...?" when it hit me. I had put what was the equivalent of a pork roast for any other dog right under his nose. Don't ask me why the fruit does it to him, it just does. We managed to make it through that mistake without incident, even though when I moved the glass he did throw the "but MOTHER!" eyes at me.

Tonight Daddy brought home a bag of oranges and Herger got two slices from the one we peeled so he thinks that sort of makes up for not getting his own bowl of juice. Maybe.

*Snoopy, Missy, Precious, Joe, Ginger, Tubby, Max, Bono, Arfur, Cassie, Jenny, Freya** & Tyr
** Freya had a similiar obsession... er, affection for ice

We Can't All Be Saints, Can We?

Your Birthdate: November 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It's Sad Because It's True...

You Are Candy Corn

Your Halloween personality is whimsical, colorful, and creative. You see Halloween as a time to get your creative juices flowing. Each year, Halloween can't start soon enough for you. You tend to go all out for Halloween. You decorate like crazy and always dress up.

What Halloween Treat Are You?

The first candy I brought in to work this year was candy corn. One of my co-workers was trying to have a semi-serious meeting with my while I was trying to wear the candy corn as multi-colored vampire teeth and other silliness. I know that Lewis Black thinks that candy corn is pretty much from the devil, but that's ok, he can give his to me. You can read Lew's opinion here, watch it here, or watch the animated version here. Streeter Seidell rebuts Lew under #7 of his article Burning Halloween Questions UNMASKED! from Mental Floss (on CNN).

The Jungle

...the watchdog group [Project on Government Oversight] said oversight offices throughout the government have been underfunded and co-opted by political appointees with a partisan agenda. The report recommended that all organizations with oversight responsibilities--from inspectors general offices to the Defense Contract Audit Agency--be "afforded the resources, authority and incentives" to complete their missions... ~ Government Executive

No surprises there for anyone who has been paying attention. We've already seen the some "results" of this in finance. The issues with our financial systems are deeply unpleasant, but we will most likely recover from them. My fear is the long-lasting impact of the lessening of regulation and oversight in the food and drug industries and the irrevocable impact of our irresponsible environmental stewardship.

It's a Dog's Life

James Lileks, the author who brings us entertaining nostalgia books like "The Gallery of Regrettable Food," has a gallery of newspaper dog photos Dateline:Kennel (They Gave Their Dignity So That Others Might Laugh).

All Hallows Eve Reminder

Don't forget to get your Halloween costume, crank up some Halloween music, and stock up plenty of Halloween treats for Friday.

What Is Wrong With People?

I was blown away by the findings from this Chicago Tribune investigation, inspired by the Stolen Valor Act (2006).

Scores of Americans, from clergymen to lawyers to CEOs, are claiming medals of valor they never earned.

A Tribune investigation has found that the fabrication of heroic war records is far more extensive than you might think.

Take the online edition of Who's Who, long the nation's premier biographical reference. Of the 333 people whose profiles state they earned one of the nation's most esteemed military medals, fully a third of those claims cannot be supported by military records. ~ Claims of Medals Amount to Stolen Valor, John Crewdson, Tribune correspondent

Seriously, what is wrong with these people? Are they that insecure?

Now in Seven Designer Colors!

During my teen years I was seriously into design and one of my favorite jokes was hoping that in the future "everything will come in seven designer colors." Well, it looks like I'm starting to get my wish. Lately, everything including coffeemakers is embracing color and design. And now I see you can get a Dell Studio 15 Laptop in precisely seven colors - and with a name like Studio 15 you just know those are designer colors, don't you? You know you do. Personally I would go for "Plum." I don't usually like pink and orange, but I would take "Flamingo" or "Tangerine." Such is the power of designer colors. They also come in four different designs, but if you want it in "Bunch O Surfers" that's going to cost you some time, baby, because those things are on backorder.

Hmmm... This New Management Fad is Crazy Enough That it Just Might Work

I've been searching the intertubes looking for the cartoonist who drew this delightful cartoon about the "Just Do Your Fricking Job" management methodology. I love this cartoon and it captures a phrase that I have used often at work. (Wouldn't the whole world just run better if everyone would do their frickin' jobs?) Some have accused me of drawing it myself, but if I had I definitely wouldn't have signed it "Nick."

So where are you, Nick? Soogle must find you. At the very least you deserve credit and praise. And perhaps you have drawn other witty cartoons for me to frame and hang at my desk.

10/24/08 Update: Winterwolf has beat Soogle at her own game and found Nick's website! You can find more Nick Kim goodness at Lab initio. Does this mean that Winterwolf can now be called Woogle?

Welcome to the Crew

You Scored as Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)
The universe is erupting into war and your government picks the wrong side. How much worse could things get? It doesn't matter, because no matter what you have your friends and you'll do the right thing. In the end that will be all that matters. Now if only the Psi Cops would leave you alone.

And I married:


You Scored as SG-1 (Stargate)

You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body.

Fred's Bank

I've noticed that since the banking "issues" have started, and especially since the mention of the bailout, quite a few people have come to the Thoughts looking for Steve Martin's bit about "Fred's Bank." I used the title for a post about missing federal funds back in 2005, and later updated it with links to Steve's site* and some other fun things.

What I'm not sure of is: Are the people who are searching for that comedy bit going to use it lambaste the banking industry? Or are they seriously hopeful that Fred has opened a bank because, quite honestly, the "right coat pocket" way of doing business actually seems a bit safer than what else is going on these days...

*Oddly, when I checked the link before posting this it said the account was suspended. Come back to us, Steve!!

I Surf Like a Boy

Your Surfing Habits are 80% Male, 20% Female

If we had to guess, we would guess that you are a man. You use the internet to make your life more efficient - and to make you smarter. For you, the internet is like a vast encyclopedia. You search and surf extensively. You look up everything online.

Do You Use the Internet Like a Man or a Woman?

Zen and the Art of the Silly Party

Isn't it fun when one thing you think is fun turns out to be connected to something else you think is fun? Such is the case with Zen Noir and Michael Palin for President. It turns out that Marc Rosenbush is behind both of them.

Thanks Marc!

Mama Needs a New Pair of Shoes

As I mentioned in a previous post, I don't much go for all those regular girlie things like shoes and handbags. This week marks a solemn occassion because I have spent more than ever before on a pair of shoes. $85. I know, if I were a "Sex in the City" girl that would be like one shoe. Maybe. On sale.

But I am definitely NOT a "Sex in the City" girl. So what bit of footwear convinced me to pay about $50-70 more than I normally would? (Yes, you have no idea how cheap I can be.) Was it Jimmy Choo or some other sexy, hip modern designer? Oh hellll no. You can't seduce me with strappy, saucy, high-heeled goodness. The sweet nothings that had to be whispered in my ear were "gore-tex uppers" and "vibram soles." Yeah, baby, I got myself a pair of Merrell hiking boots.

I picked up my last pair of hiking boots at an outlet store for $15. (Nice ones, original retail $75.) The most I've ever paid for hiking boots before was $50 (on sale, of course). For "work shoes" (category of flats, heels, boots, etc) I think my top dollar purchase has been $40. In my mind, if life were fair I would be able to live in Converse High Tops. But life, she is not fair, eh?

So how much have YOU ever paid for a pair of shoes? Be honest, this is for posterity...

Dude. We TOLD You Not to Invite Them

I will admit that my first thought when I read this article was, "Uh... the Emmy's were on Sunday...?"

But after reading that reality hosts opened the show, and bombed, I was glad that I missed the whole thing.

"It's like, we let you into the party and you spilled beer all over the couch," one industry insider said of the reality hosts. - Hollywood Reporter

Well, you know, we could have told you that would happen.

My First Mate is a Monkey*

Are you looking for the lyrics to the song "The First Mate is a Monkey"? Click here!

You Are 70% Pirate

Garrrr, yer a true pirate down to yer bones. Yer an originial sea dog, an' ye certainly have earned yer sea legs. No one be goin' to accuse ye o' bein' a landlubber. Ye got yer eye on the prize, an' yer willin' to go pillagin' fer some booty.

Would You Make a Good Pirate?

The post title comes from one of my very, very favorite silly Disney pirate song, The First Mate Is a Monkey off the Swashbuckling Sea Songs album. I also have my own full sized Jolly Roger flag so I think you can see how I scored so well...

We're Number One

The latest search term that we found out we come in at number one for? "Now that's funny, right there."



Hopefully Larry the Cable Guy will come by and find out how we managed to make it to #1 on his catch phrase. Hey baby, that's Wikiality.

Organoleptic Exploration of Chocolate

Do you love chocolate? Maybe you love it enough to learn how to taste it.

Random Table: Apology

There is someone I need to apologize to who also happens to be a bit of a D&D geek like myself, so I thought, "Hey! I wonder if there is a random apology table?" Unfortunately, no. So, I will just have to build my own. (Or if it is out there on the World Wide Web it is buried deep enough that I'm not digging for it.)

Fortunately there are some great online resources like Perfect Apology and their page Ways to Say Sorry, iApologize, and the Bureau of Communications. Now, I just put it into a random table...

01 Buy a Star
02-05 Flowers
06-10 Gift Basket
11-15 Candy
16-22 Stuffed Animal
23-30 Official Notice of Apology (form A-001)
31-35 Poetry
36-39 Quotes
40-49 Music
50-65 e-Card
66-88 Cartoon
89-94 Message in a Bottle
95-99 Quirky apology kitsch
100 YourCover Personalized Magazine Covers

If you need some virtual dice, Wizard has you covered.

Ricky, You Got Some S'plainin' to Do

Although he seems quite charming, I think that Ricky Gervais and I wouldn't get along. I'm watching his interview on The Daily Show (new last night) and he just said that he thinks he likes collecting facts because he's "a man." Well, uh, actually I think that is probably the strength theme of "Input" and last I checked it was in my top 5 strengths. (Remember, I didn't name *myself* Soogle.)

People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

I collect information the way other girls collect shoes, handbags and jewelry. And yes, I really am a girl, I promise. Just one of those strange ones who accessorizes with things like a "Dictionary of Symbols" (a birthday gift and quite awesome). I've told you I was a total geek before so don't act all surprised on me now.

So, anyway, I went to check Ricky out on IMDB Pro (since I'm a member, since I have an obsessive love of entertainment information and free IMDB didn't feed enough of my jones), and found this quote from him.

I hate lateness. I hate people who are late. There is no excuse for turning up late for anything. I've never been late for anything in my life. I was actually born a week premature, because I wanted to be early for my own birth. Being late is an insult to me.

Ugh! So, I would annoy him as much as he has annoyed me.

Random Encounter Table: Arctic and Sub-Arctic

Well, Stephen, I did look it up and see that you rolled something between an 11 and 15. And wouldn't that be a *pair* of Frost Giants? Perhaps an ambiguously gay duo of Frost Giants? I rolled a 43 and, sure, that may only be an Arctic Hare (solitary) but I tell you it has FANGS!

Say It Once More, With Feeling

One thing that's been great for the last 13 years is that I can always go to DailyWav.com and get the perfect wav file to express myself.

Today's perfect wav:
"You know, there's something about doing this crappy job day-in and day-out that makes me want to kill myself... and you." — Kristen Johnston (Sally Solomon) from 3rd Rock From the Sun

I'm a Hyperdrive!

I've quit caffeine so I thought I'd torture myself with this quiz.

You Are A Mocha Frappuccino

Hyper and driven, you'll take your caffeine any way you can get it. Frappuccinos are good, but you'd probably chew coffee beans in a crunch!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

This isn't the first thing I've ever read to accuse me of chewing on coffee beans or downing coffee grounds in a pinch. There must be something about me...

I Want to Register Silly Party

Finally, a candidate I can get behind... and then we can both walk funny to the voting booth.


Look at the adorable fuzzy thing I got for signing up for the party newsletter.

That's pretty much what I looked like today. Except my hair was a little wilder.

Prop to Pam for the link.

There Can Be ONLY ONE!

For a spot of entertainment, check out the M&M Combat write-up. One day we will have a genetically superior M&M.

Ask Me About My Wax

You Are Brazil

You are carefree and fun loving. You like to party all night. You are warm and physically affectionate. No one is friendlier than you. You are lively and a great conversationalist. You can talk for hours. You are creative and willing to take risks. You are a true free spirit.

What Country Are You?

I Obviously Hadn't Considered the Risks of Blogging

But xkcd has pointed this out to me with his bar chart. I just want to know... who died in a blogging accident?

If I'd Known I Was Going to Have Company I Would Have Put Something Nicer On (Post #1k)

You know how it goes. Even with a vanity blog (can we really call this anything else?) you write all sorts of things you would love for the world to see and hardly anyone comes to your door. Then, the day you get a spate of hits, all you have on your front page is an unending list of personality tests... the t-shirt and sweats of the blogging world. Seriously, could I have been a little LESS interesting today?

To give credit where credit is due, the hits came after I posted a comment on DSL Reports' article Google Changes Controversial Chrome TOS. Thanks to Karl I will now have to go back to reading internet download Terms of Service agreements before I accidentally give away my first born and 20 head of sheep.

Go out and give Karl a little internet love at DSL Reports. I hesitate to do any reviews for him since Momma always said if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. And even though I had a good interaction with Comcast today I'm still not ready to forgive them yet. As I doubt that Dave Barry is, either.

Oh, and as I pointed out in the title, this is my post number 1,000 on the Thoughts. Other blogs may come and go, but here we still are. Five years, one thousand posts just from yours truly, and each one of them just stuffed full of internet entertainment.

Oh, Right, I'm Supposed to Be a Writer...

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Someone Give Jason My Number...

Oh, this is sad because it's true. I really liked It's Your Move back in the 80s and more recently his character was my favorite part of Hancock.

Your 80s Hunk Is

Jason Bateman

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

They Call Me Cupcake

Your result for What Cupcake flavour are you? quiz...

Chocolate Cupcake!

You are a charmer, almoste everyone loves you. You can be a little bitter at times, but that just adds to your charm. You are popular all over the world, lucky you!

Take What Cupcake flavour are you? quiz at HelloQuizzy

I Love the Red Gloves

You Are 90% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

I'm actually never thought myself much of a feminist, I just believe in fairness and equality for everyone.

Your result for The Well Rounded Geek Quiz...

The Companion

See that beautiful girl in the picture above? That's you. You are smart, you are savvy and you've got the common sense needed to be a very well rounded geek indeed. But not QUITE at that higher echelon yet. But you're in good company. Chances are you know at least one good, well rounded and worldy person to glean some information from so stick with them, through time travel and dimensional hopping. You'll come out the otherside weathered and FANTASTIC.

Take The Well Rounded Geek Quiz at HelloQuizzy

That's Highly Illogi-oh, look at the kitty...

Your result for The Right Brain vs Left Brain Test...

80% Right Brained!

Your answers indicate that you are more right brained than left brained. Approximately half the population is right brained. People who are right brained tend to be more creative, spontaneous, visual, and emotional. You prefer variety and randomness. You prefer to look at the whole picture, rather than the minute details, and you probably don't like being pinned down. Art, religion, and philosophy are usbjects that most likely interest you. You are the friend that gets the most calls for 3am diner runs. You are a bit of a dreamer ,and sometimes flighty. Artist Pablo Picasso was right brained.

Take The Right Brain vs Left Brain Test at HelloQuizzy

Brilliant! I'm a Weasley

Much like Pam, I couldn't really argue with the results. The description is dead on, except my Weasley twins are all packed into one guy.

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Weasley Twin

Laughter is important to you. You want a guy who's never boring, who can always put a smile on your face, and who can pull the best of pranks and never get caught. Or possibly two such guys. Because let's face it, they're pretty much a two-fer. You get one, you get both. Even if one of them's only a friend, he'll still be around so much you'll feel like you're married to him, too. Sure, they may not seem like the most mature guys in the world, in a traditional sense, but just ask them about their business plan. When they drive you nuts by relentlessly testing their latest inventions on you, you can console youself with that huge stack of cash and dragon-leather jacket. Besides, you know you're powerless against those stereo smiles.

Take The Harry Potter Husband Test at HelloQuizzy

Our Dog is a Fruit Addict

It started the way these things usually do. Standing in the kitchen having The Talk.

"Sweetie, I know you think that you want some of this pineapple but you aren't going to like it."

Ears remain up, every movement of the pineapple chunks being watched like they were particularly active and tasty-looking rodents.

"Seriously, sweetie, you aren't going to like it."

Head cocks to the side, tail begins to wag gently.

'Dad' comes into the kitchen and has pity. One pineapple chunk is tossed in the air and snapped up by eager jaws.

'Mom' smirks. "Didn't like that, didya?"

Ears prick forward, tail wags harder, and all 70 pounds of him begins to wriggle in on my personal space. This is not typically a wriggly dog. Two more chunks of pineapple go down with ever-increasing enthusiasm. 'Well,' we think, 'if he likes pineapple what else might he like?' We all share a fresh orange and a banana.

That was the day we realized that maybe our dog Herger was a bit of a freak. We knew that some dogs liked fruit, but it seemed that maybe he liked fruit Too Much. Today made that all very, very clear.

I was up first this morning and decided to be sweet and peel an orange for my Doggy-Daddy. As soon as I pierced the skin of the orange, Herger was dancing attendance under my feet. We hadn't had fresh oranges for awhile so I tossed him a slice of orange to see if that would chill him out. Uh, no. I took the bowl of orange slices into the bedroom and Herger followed closely behind, jumping up on the bed. This normally well-behaved and/or at least very shy dog nearly intercepted the first orange slice on the way to Doggy-Daddy's mouth! We had a Correction Moment which, shy boy that he is, requires only one Serious Talking To that lasts all of about 2 seconds after which he sat back and sighed, watching us eating the orange with rapt but mournful attention. We saved the last sections to share with the dogs back in the kitchen where they are supposed to get food near their bowls. His sister shares in the bounty out of fairness, although she really doesn't get the whole fruit thing. She just wants what he has. Since he was so mournful about not getting more of the morning orange I gave him almost a whole one, a section at a time, after I got back from work. He also got some baby greens because, well, he also likes that. This was all in addition to his daily kibble. Basically the dog has a healthier diet, and diet tendencies, than we do.

Now, just the "almost taking orange out of Daddy's mouth" incident would have been noteworthy. But tonight, after having all that orange and a salad, too, he was still on the lookout for a drive-by fruiting. I was grabbing a snack and had a banana along with a lot of other stuff to carry, and dropped the banana. He grabbed it and ran!! It was hard to summon up a good "Drop!" command when I was howling with laughter so he managed to get all the way to the den and behind the futon before I caught up with him. It's important in this story to note that all of our pets are trained to the "drop!"command, including the cats (handy when one caught a bird and then complied to spit it out within a half second). It's an important command because you never know when a pet might try to ingest something hazardous to their health, therefore the "drop!' command is non-negotiable and always strictly enforced. I know Herger knows "drop!" but he was NOT going to drop that banana! I chased him around the futon, the drop command becoming more commanding as it became clear that he was on his own plan. He finally dropped it in the hallway after he had managed to get half of it down. It landed right in front of his sister who had the "please don't tell me I have to eat this" look on her face. She, apparently, had far exceeded her daily fruit allowance.

As for Herger? Well, when I finally got my own banana snack he sat wriggling at my feet, obviously contemplating a coup. We've been saying for awhile that he would like for us to move to the tropics where he can eat tasty fruits off the beach every day. Now I'm thinking I need to check his bed for plane tickets. He doesn't seem like he will wait much longer.

If you would like to get Herger some fruit feel free to give his Doggy-Mommy the order and donate funds here. He swears we don't get him nearly enough of it.

Getting out the Evil Camera Contraption makes the ears go down but doesn't shift his Mommy-Has-A-Banana focus.

I Thought You'd Be Needing That...

Since today is Sci-Fi and Bureaucracy Day I thought we should celebrate some EFFICIENCY.

Something to Think About

I've gotten far enough in The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World by Lynne McTaggart to discover that thoughts cannot, in fact, get stuck in my head. Apparently they seep out into the world like little ninjas bent on their own purpose.

The basic point of the book is to pull together results of scientific research that indicates that something is indeed afoot in the universe. Quoting the Amazon product description, "Using cutting-edge research conducted at Princeton,MIT, Stanford, and many other prestigious universities and laboratories, The Intention Experiment reveals that the universe is connected by a vast quantum energy field."

I know what you're thinking. "Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny! It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense."

Well, maybe and maybe not.

The information is compelling to think about. And, since it proposes that thoughts influence the world, I suppose that's a good thing. Among the studies in the book is evidence that all living things react to not only action but intention. Thinking that you will burn a plant's leaves is enough to give it stress. (Until, apparently, it learns that you only have torture thoughts and don't actually do torture. Then it chills out and decides not to worry about your crazy self.) This sort of information has made me anxious enough that I will probably want to take to my bed for a week because just walking on the grass will make me think about it screaming little helpless grass screams of agony. Actually, I guess thinking about walking on the grass is getting that response right now. Eep! I knew there was a reason I'd spent a good portion of my life shutting down my extra-sensory perception.

So, what are your thoughts? Crack-pot or not?

Raising Eyebrows?

You Are an Eyebrow Piercing

You are unique, quirky, and more than a little eccentric. You cultivate the weirder sides of your personality, and you don't mind sharing them. Ever since you were a kid, you've had strong opinions. You've never been like everyone else, and you're okay with that. And you've always been able to tell people exactly what you think - even when they don't want to hear it. You love to create, dream, imagine, and communicate. You live in your own universe. And unlike most people who live in their own little world, you're happy to invite anyone in!

What Piercing Are You?

Cheese Gods Are Everywhere

Yet another who claims to be the God of Cheese. I wonder how Aristaeus feels about that. Of course, I doubt that Aristaeus ever had such a cute avatar or signature graphic...

I Have Needs

Remember the Google game "[Name] is"? Well this is "[Name] needs."

Sue needs to look at getting back in step with us if she wants to stay and participate as a full member of the Liberal party [ed. Ouch!]

Sue needs an outhouse where electrical items can be stored

"SUE NEEDS YOU!"

Sue needs to back to school to learn the basics of What Not to Wear [ed. Ouch!]

Sue needs occasional prompting when reading

Sue needs to be rocked

Sue needs developers

Sue needs help!

Sue needs a good avatar

Sue needs YOU to sell our city

Come on, Scoops, you know you wanna... Tip o' the hat to Deb Land, who I found via Wendi Aarons, who I found because she authored this wicked awesome open letter to P&G over their stupid Always brand "Have a Happy Period" marketing.

Starlight, Star Bright...

Back in 2004 I pointed out that it was doubtful that a Sagittarius would win the White House. This time around we have a Leo vs. Virgo match up. I'll have to dig out my history of election results (where did I put that thing?) but I'm pretty sure that the odds are in favor of Leo.

Purple Brain and Orange Glasses? Apparently I'm Still Into Punk

You See the World Through Orange Colored Glasses

You live your live with enthusiasm. You enjoy what you have, and you are determined to live a happy life.

You judge all your interactions through the lens of curiosity. You are genuinely interested in other people and tend not to be judgmental.

You face challenges with a playful attitude. You are determined to succeed, and a part of you enjoys any challenge.

You see love as the utmost expression of creativity. For you, love is about building a unique and interesting life together.

At your worst, you are irritable and burned out. Sometimes you burn too brightly.

You are happiest when you are given free reign to explore, create, and play.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

Gender Challenge

I ran across a new role-playing website today called Gamegrene (now in sidebar) and thought that the post A Tale of Two Characters was particularly interesting. It was about gender stereotypes in gaming. She described two characters and asked the readers to figure out which character was which gender. As readers of the Thoughts may realize, I'm against most "isms" and genderism is definitely on the list.

Personally I've always been drawn to playing tough women so for me it is always a stretch to try to play something a little more "stereotypical." Meanwhile my sister excels at the roguish vixen. So in our last D&D game we switched it up a bit and I played the sweet, somewhat helpless witch while she was my tough, smelly, brawling twin sister. (Oddly, this is the first time we've played siblings after a good 20+ years of gaming together.)

I figure in role playing there is always the chance to stretch and do something fun and different, including a different gender. I'll give you three characters I've played and tell me if you can figure out which one of these is a male. Bonus points for figuring out the gender of the other PC named in #3.

1) A party cleric who was really good at healing. Turned out that was because it happened to be a necromantic skill. The party took exception when the character decided to raise a bugbear as a minion and it began to decompose and smell. The character casually turned to the bugbear and said, "stay at the back and strip off all your flesh." The party got the collective wiggins.

2) An elven mage who tended to walk three steps into a room before thinking to check if it was safe and one time foolishly forgot to pack any food for a dungeon crawl. Once the party killed the dragon the hungry character poked at the flesh and inquired hopefully of the DM, "Is it tender?" Later in life, once they weren't quite so young and stupid, the same character used a wall of fire to trap a troop of orcs and then dropped a wall of something hard on them (can't remember what). Squish.

3) A quick-draw bounty hunter who once shot a Jedi because they were "in the way and not doing anything about the prisoner escaping." War veteran in the infantry, learned to pilot after being granted a ship by a planetary ruler for a particularly (politically) important rundown. Teamed up with and overprotective of an engineer named Dylan who is no longer allowed to touch weapons because they just end up 'shooting self' or 'shooting friend'. Every. Freaking. Time.

Innovator

You Are the Innovator

You're the type of person who is always a step ahead of everyone else. You thrive when you're experimenting with new designs, ideas, and attitudes. You are a creative person with many talents. You have to have artistic outlets in your life. You need to create - whether it's writing furiously or redecorating your home. If not, your life becomes chaotic. You tire of doing the same thing every day. You change your job, friends, and personal style often. You are at your best when you have a focus. If not, you develop a flaky artist's temperament.

What Role Do You Play?

Cybernetic Organism: Ratbot

Some Brits have come up with a robot that is controlled by rat neurons. I don't know about you, but I have images of Ratbert dressed like a Borg running through my head.

There are some pressing questions, though. Does the robot crave cheese even though it doesn't eat? If the project doesn't get funding, will it jump like a rat off a sinking ship?

I won't even get into the ethics or other scary items around this. However I guess this means that daggets aren't very far off. That'll be convenient at the rate we are destroying life on earth.

via Chip at SFBFD

Coolest Thing of 2008

I just found out that someone is publishing George Orwell's diary day by day as a blog. They started with his August 9, 1938 entry on August 9, 2008. Check it out. Found via Easy Bake Coven.

My Brain is Purple? Well.... duh.

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

Should I File This Under "Coffee, Tea, or Me"?

You Are Black Tea

You have a bold personality. You're not afraid of simply being yourself. You have the courage to speak the truth. You are fearless in your actions. You come off as a bit intimidating and unapproachable. Only confident people are attracted to you. You don't try to scare off anyone. You're just an intense person!

What Kind of Tea Are You?

Olympic Hopeful

You Are Kayaking

You have a competitive spirit, but you don't like to compete alone. You do well in a partnership, where you can feed off the other person's energy. If you have the right partner, nothing can stop you. Your energy is infinite!

What Olympic Sport Are You?

Masters of Science in TTGSiMH

Link via Scoops.

God Loves Cheese

Even though, as Chesterton pointed out, the poets are mysteriously quiet on the subject of cheese, it seems that God and his ever-lovin' followers can't shut up about it. Even when it doesn't totally make sense...

Does God Exist? The Moon Made of Green Cheese Analogy

If you can figure out what point (or at least valid point) they are making there, get back to me.

The World is Smaller Than You Think

Sometime around 1990 when I was the office manager in a restaurant I coined the phrase, "Anything purple is mine. If it's purple, don't touch it." This was primarily a defense against having young, irresponsible managers breaking and losing my stuff. Alright, I was younger than them, but much more responsible and dammit things needed to be STAPLED at 7am on Monday morning so I didn't have time to be messing around.

I wasn't a morning person, what can I say?

Now on Amazon I've run across a t-shirt that you might suspect I had made. Anything purple is mine. Everything else can by dyed or painted. Funny.

But seriously. Leave my stapler alone.

Geeks R' Us

We can check off a few too many of the things from "You Might Be a Fan If..."

For instance:

• You have more than one pet named after favorite characters.
• Your wedding march was Darth Vader's theme. (It was close.)
• ...While you and your spouse were in costume.
• You spent more than $100 on your costume and had to special order some of the pieces.
• You were making up stories in your head years about your favorite TV shows before anyone ever said the word "fanfiction" to you. After you found out what it was, a lot of your life made a lot more sense.
• You are incapable of hearing, reading or speaking the word "inconceivable" without quoting "The Princess Bride." (Yes, that would in fact be inconceivable.)
• The action figures you have bought yourself as an adult outnumber the toys that survived your childhood.
• The action figures live on your desk.
• You can't help but think LEGO anything is automatically more cool.

Obsess Much?

The book I'm reading, Creating a Life Worth Living, has an intriguing little section called "Cashing In on Your Bad Habits."

There is one last little tool I have used to get people thinking in new ways about day jobs. Use your compulsions, your obsessions, and your plain bad habits."

Typical day in the life of Commander Sue: group of friends are out at a restaurant, a debate begins, Sue whips out her blackberry, friends roll their eyes and groan, and she uses her Soogle super-power to locate the correct answer. This obsession with locating information is second nature, I just have faster access to the answers now. Back in the day I had to remember the discussion until I was able to locate a source document that contained the facts. Aforementioned friends can corroborate that I would rarely forget to follow up. And it is never about proving myself right. I'll look up the answer when I didn't even have a stake in the debate and I'm actually quicker to communicate out the correct answer if I was debating and turned out to be wrong.

I even have some specialized tools. As I've mentioned before, I'm a subscriber to the IMDB pro site and I drive my husband slightly crazy because I am usually reading up on the movies and television shows we watch and sometimes I (accidentally) announce things that ruin the cinematic experience.

In Clifton StrengthsFinder parlance, this is actually an expression of my strengths #1 Learning "...a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve...the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them..." and #5 Input "...a craving to know more...like to collect and archive all kinds of information..."

I'd never thought too much about it, but I suppose that someone might pay me for the research skills I've developed to feed by fact-finding obsession. For instance, I found this job listing for an Online Research Librarian. Not many people have taken me up on my Soogle offer yet, but maybe one day they will.

I'm sure that what my friends would like to know is, if I spent more of my work time doing research would I spend less of my personal time doing it? I'm sure they hope so.

Boyntonology: The Study of Whimsy

I've known for a long time that Sandra Boynton was a personal hero, but that was just based on her cute hippopotamuses and her sense of whimsy. I couldn't resist picking up her book "What's Wrong, Little Pookie?" recently even though I don't have kids yet. Now I've run across her website and can say that her Boyntonography reads like an essay titled "My Perfect Life."

...I couldn’t face the prospect of waitressing again, though I had almost perfected the requisite accommodating manner. Instead, I designed gift cards and Christmas cards, had my Uncle Bill, a printer, print them, and I trudged around to various East Coast stores selling them. In the summer between college graduation and graduate school in drama at U.C. Berkeley, I continued to sell the cards, did more designs, took them to a trade show in New York City, and at summer’s end, signed up with a Chicago company called Recycled Paper Greetings...

Over the past thirty-odd, odd years, I have designed, by varying estimates (none of them in fact mine because I’ve not yet gotten sufficiently motivated to start counting) somewhere between 4,000 and 6,000 greeting cards. Almost all were published by Recycled Paper, 1975 to 1996. They sold 50 to 80 million Boynton cards per year in the peak years (1980’s)...

I choose the projects I do and products I design somewhat at whim, and only if there’s a company that looks interesting to work with. I only “license” what I can develop and design myself, rather than letting companies adapt my characters according to their own sense and sensibilty. I have no agent, no business manager, no contracts attorney. This is a rather haphazard way to do things, but it’s more fun than an actual plan. Since I’m not sufficiently committed to Optimizing Market Potential, I seem to be a bewilderment and, one hopes, a minor annoyance to many.

I'm Not Sure I Believe These Results

You Are 63% Skeptic

While you aren't always skeptical, you generally approach life from a skeptical viewpoint. You're open to any outlandish claim, but you need proof before you'll believe it. That being said, you're occasionally willing to go out on a limb and put your faith in idea. There's a few beliefs you hold because you hope they're true - not because they've been established as true.

Are You a Skeptic?

We're Number One!

We get excited when the Thoughts come up as the first Google hit for things. It's just cool.

• Colbert fan fiction
• Kevin Smith 37
• employee hierarchy of needs
• Ghost Hunters fan fiction
• maybe I'm a dreamer
• the Doobie brothers broke up
• hyperintelligent shade of the color blue
• monk's head cheese
  

When do you come up #1 on Google?

It All Suddenly Makes So Much Sense

Of course. Why didn't I think of that.

What Day Is It?

As you may have noticed, the blogging has gotten light again and I'm not keeping up with my "days," not even "God and Cheese Day." I'm afraid there is no exciting story to relate that explains this away with a proper amount of wit and humility. It's just the way it is.

So what have I been doing with my time, you ask? Well, I've spent a fair portion of it staring into space contemplating my existence. Another decade is winding down and I have to ask myself, "Is this what I meant to do? Am I on track to do anything I planned to do in this life?" I'm considering enrolling in a Master's degree program, changing jobs, and/or running away to the Caribbean.

The books I'm currently reading (yes, all at once) are How to Win Friends & Influence People (I first read Carnegie's classic when I was a shy, awkward 15 year old and it had a big impact on me), Creating a Life Worth Living, and A Darkness More Than Night (Harry Bosch). I've been on a Connelly streak and have read six Bosch novels and two non-Bosch novels in about six weeks.

When online I check in on my peeps. That's why I know Sunday is moving to LA (we hates her! LA is my precious!). I also spend a bit of online time Stumbling, and finding entertaining little pages like Rip My Bodice. Oh, come on. You know you want to click.

So what have you been up to?

As You Wish

Your Love Life is Like The Princess Bride

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." For you, love is like a fairy tale - albeit a fairly twisted one. You believe romance is all about loyalty, fate, and a good big of goofy fun. Your love style: Idealistic yet quirky Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Perfectly romantic

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

Summertime, Summertime, Summ-summ-summertime

You Are a Cherry Flavored Popsicle

You are sweet and friendly. For you, summer is all about doing your favorite things. You are a nostalgic person. You love old fashioned things like ice cream trucks. You savor everything. Every taste of summer, the feeling of the sun, the smell of the beach... Of all the types, you love summer the most.

What Flavor Popsicle Are You?

Hey, Who's the New Guy?

Do you ever see something and you say to yourself, "If life had been just a little bit different, that could have been me"? That's how I feel about TrekkieGuy's website. If you have an interest in original series Star Trek, check it out. Book reviews, wav files, and other fun stuff for authentic Trekkies to enjoy.

It'll Be OK

You Are a Thumbs Up

Your life philosophy can be summed up as, "Tomorrow is another day." Your greatest wish is for everyone to be content with what they have. You are naturally content and optimistic. You encourage people to be happy. Even if life isn't perfect, you believe that life is what you make of it!

What Hand Gesture Are You?

Those Are Some Good Books, Right There

I was wondering if there were some sort of definitive list of important books to read. I figured that Google would yield more than a few. But the one that came up first, and over and over, was Martin Seymour-Smiths "100 Most Influential Books Ever Written." I copied this chronological version from interleaves and have marked in bold all of the things I've read so far. (I've read selections and excerpts from others, marked with an asterisk. I mean, who hasn't read some Shakespeare?) Considering that I read most of it at least 20 years ago, I can see I've been wasting a lot of time. I was a bit surprised to not see The Art of War on the list.

1. The I Ching
2. The Old Testament
3. The Iliad and The Odyssey by Homer
4. The Upanishads*
5. The Way and Its Power, Lao-tzu
6. The Avesta
7. Analects, Confucius*
8. History of the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides
9. Works, Hippocrates*
10. Works, Aristotle*
11. History, Herodotus*
12. The Republic, Plato
13. Elements, Euclid
14. The Dhammapada
15. Aeneid, Virgil
16. On the Nature of Reality, Lucretius
17. Allegorical Expositions of the Holy Laws, Philo of Alexandria
18. The New Testament
19. Lives, Plutarch
20. Annals, from the Death of the Divine Augustus, Cornelius Tacitus
21. The Gospel of Truth
22. Meditations, Marcus Aurelius*
23. Outlines of Pyrrhonism, Sextus Empiricus
24. Enneads, Plotinus
25. Confessions, Augustine of Hippo
26. The Koran*
27. Guide for the Perplexed, Moses Maimonides
28. The Kabbalah*
29. Summa Theologicae, Thomas Aquinas*
30. The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri*
31. In Praise of Folly, Desiderius Erasmus
32. The Prince, Niccolò Machiavelli*
33. On the Babylonian Captivity of the Church, Martin Luther
34. Gargantua and Pantagruel, François Rabelais
35. Institutes of the Christian Religion, John Calvin
36. On the Revolution of the Celestial Orbs, Nicolaus Copernicus
37. Essays, Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
38. Don Quixote, Parts I and II, Miguel de Cervantes
39. The Harmony of the World, Johannes Kepler
40. Novum Organum, Francis Bacon
41. The First Folio [Works], William Shakespeare*
42. Dialogue Concerning Two New Chief World Systems, Galileo Galilei
43. Discourse on Method, René Descartes
44. Leviathan, Thomas Hobbes*
45. Works, Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz*
46. Pensées, Blaise Pascal
47. Ethics, Baruch de Spinoza*
48. Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan
49. Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, Isaac Newton
50. Essay Concerning Human Understanding, John Locke
51. The Principles of Human Knowledge, George Berkeley
52. The New Science, Giambattista Vico
53. A Treatise of Human Nature, David Hume
54. The Encyclopedia, Denis Diderot, ed.
55. A Dictionary of the English Language, Samuel Johnson
56. Candide, François-Marie de Voltaire
57. Common Sense, Thomas Paine*
58. An Enquiry Into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith
59. The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Edward Gibbon
60. Critique of Pure Reason, Immanuel Kant
61. Confessions, Jean-Jacques Rousseau
62. Reflections on the Revolution in France, Edmund Burke
63. Vindication of the Rights of Women, Mary Wollstonecraft
64. An Enquiry Concerning Political Justice, William Godwin
65. An Essay on the Principle of Population, Thomas Robert Malthus
66. Phenomenology of Spirit, George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel*
67. The World as Will and Idea, Arthur Schopenhauer
68. Course in the Positivist Philosophy, Auguste Comte
69. On War, Carl Marie von Clausewitz
70. Either/Or, Søren Kierkegaard
71. The Manifesto of the Communist Party, Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels*
72. "Civil Disobedience," Henry David Thoreau*
73. The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, Charles Darwin*
74. On Liberty, John Stuart Mill
75. First Principles, Herbert Spencer
76. "Experiments with Plant Hybrids," Gregor Mendel
77. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
78. Treatise on Electricity and Magnetism, James Clerk Maxwell
79. Thus Spake Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche
80. The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud
81. Pragmatism, William James
82. Relativity, Albert Einstein
83. The Mind and Society, Vilfredo Pareto
84. Psychological Types, Carl Gustav Jung
85. I and Thou, Martin Buber
86. The Trial, Franz Kafka
87. The Logic of Scientific Discovery, Karl Popper
88. The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money, John Maynard Keynes*
89. Being and Nothingness, Jean-Paul Sartre
90. The Road to Serfdom, Friedrich von Hayek
91. The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir
92. Cybernetics, Norbert Wiener
93. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
94. Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson, George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff
95. Philosophical Investigations, Ludwig Wittgenstein
96. Syntactic Structures, Noam Chomsky
97. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, T. S. Kuhn
98. The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan
99. Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung [The Little Red Book], Mao Zedong
100. Beyond Freedom and Dignity, B. F. Skinner

Beware the Devil's Blend

Not everything on the list is write-home-about-it-funny, but here are a few of my favorites from You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When...

• Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
• You're the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don't even work there.
• Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
• You can jump-start your car without cables.
• You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
• Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
• You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
• You help your dog chase its tail.

They Try to Keep Me Away from the C-c-c-cutlery

The picture was freaky enough, why did they have to use my name? Old ad at Kitschy Kitschy Coo.

(Points to anyone who remembers where the quote in this blog post title is from.)

I Still Think Geddy Lee is Actually an Elf

No, Man, I Didn't Touch The Bamboo, I Swear

Go to Animal Talk to read about rescue efforts for panda's after the earthquake.

Risky Business

You Are Bold When it Counts

You don't make a big fuss about getting what you want... unless it's really important to you. Then you're as bold as you want to be. You just go for it! You're often up for a little excitement and adventure. Well, as long as the cost isn't too great. You enjoy risk, but not for it's own sake. Let's just say you've learned a few lessons about risk in your life.

Are You Bold?