Friday, July 9, 2004

Second Star to the Left and Straight On Til Morning....

Analyzing Kerry using astrology. (This will be fun, go with me now.)

Kerry is a Sagittarius. First, this means it is statistically unlikely he would be in the White House. (Look up all those birthdays and get back to me. There might be two. Compare that to all the Scorpios and Pisces.) This isn't to say that Sagittarians can't be great leaders and visionaries. Ever hear of Winston Churchill or Walt Disney? But I can see where there would be problems getting them into office. So let's see how we can meet the challenges. And what advantages he might have...

The first and most important force at work in any Sagittarian's life is the ability to, nay, the inability-not-to --- put their foot in their mouths. They need to wear peppermint flavored tennies because at some point in the day they are going to say something that goes over like a ton of bricks. With Kerry this has manifested with alternatively being pissy (snowboarding, anyone?) and being obsequious (flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop). Any Sagittarius will tell you that when you're 95% charming and fun, but 5%... something else, it's always the 5% that seems to have unequal weight.

Secondly, Sagittarius is famed for being clumsy. It's not just about that gangly, colt-like "grace" they have. It includes tripping over feelings and anything else that is around while they have their eyes firmly fixed on the horizon of possibilities.

It looks like Kerry has chosen to meet these challenges (at least partially) by bringing in the most charming and affable of the Democratic contenders as his running mate. John Edwards, typical of Gemini with his quick mind and glib tongue, should be able to ride those political waves almost effortlessly.

The most important advantage in their lives is luck. Luck, luck, and more luck. When they miss a train they end up meeting the most important person in their lives waiting for the next one. When they trip over a curb (and they will - often) they'll find a $20 bill in the gutter Ain't it lucky how everyone has rushed to see Fahrenheit 9/11?

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