Three Guys Walk Into a Bar....

Three guys walk into a bar the night before the Democratic Primary. The bartender, to make conversation, says, “So who are you going to vote for?”

The first guy says, “I’m voting for Kerry. I saw on TV that he pulled a guy out of the water and saved him in Vietnam. That’s the kind of guy we need in the Whitehouse – someone who can pull us out.”

The second guy says, “I’m voting for Edwards. I saw on TV that he really cares about education, and to me nothing is more important than the future of America. That’s the kind of guy we need in the Whitehouse – someone who thinks about our future.”

The third guy is being real quiet, eating his peanuts, so the bartender asks again. “Come on, buddy, who are you voting for?”

“Well, I can’t vote for Kerry because although he was heroic in the Vietnam War he came back and married into money, then spent 20 years in the Senate without authoring or sponsoring a single bill. His voting record includes voting FOR the Iraq war and the Patriot Act. Then in 2003 he missed 70% of the votes, including the one on Medicare. I can’t vote for Edwards because he was one of the authors of the Patriot Act and now wants to blame the Justice Department for using the powers in it. I decided I have to vote for Howard Dean because while he was Governor of Vermont he provided health insurance for kids, implemented programs to reduce child abuse, supported small business and job creation, and balanced the budget for 10 years.”

The bartender says, “How do you know so much?”

The guy says, “Because I don’t watch TV.”