Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Thoughts That Get Stuck

With my new insight into the Google searches that bring people here, I can see that quite a few people drop by every week trying to find out something about thoughts that are, quite literally, stuck in their heads. I assume they are talking about something worse than a song virus (a song you hear that plays over and over and over in your brain so you hum or sing it to someone else to tell them about it and then it gets stuck in THEIR head and they curse you for the evil, song-disease-ridden plague that you are). So I went wikipediaing (that's a word, right? like googling?) to find out something about obsessive thoughts.

What I found was an article on Intrusive Thoughts. "Intrusive thoughts, urges, and images are of inappropriate things at inappropriate times, usually falling into three categories: inappropriate aggressive thoughts, inappropriate sexual thoughts, or blasphemous religious thoughts. Most people experience these thoughts; when they are associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or depression, they may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, and persistent." If you think that you have Intrusive Thoughts then check out their treatment section.

I have to say, though, that "Intrusive Thoughts" is a great book title if I ever get together a "best of" book for TTGSiMH.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Miscellaneous Instant Message From My Sister

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

(Does anyone know where this came from?)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Bring It On... Myself

In case you haven't noticed it over in the Lagniappe section, may I present 5 Minutes To Kill (Yourself). "When your job sucks the life out of you, you have to suck harder." I was insanely good at this right out of the gate, which should probably make me worry.

You may also like their game Bible Fight. "Biblical icons battle it out in the world's greatest immortal combat. Bring your wrath. You're going to need it." Heh-heh.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wayne Turmel's Cranky View

Welcome Wayne Turmel to the blogroll. I've linked to his podcast The Cranky Middle Manager Show and his highly entertaining Management-Issues column, View from the Middle. I ran across Wayne when I was looking online today for advice about how to communicate with an ENFP and found his article "Confessions of an ENFP Lion-Otter hybrid." (A genealogy that he explains with "I can only assume a particularly memorable Christmas party at the zoo...") Wayne hooked me from his leader line "I have officially taken every personality profile known to man. Other than telling me that I'm an ENFP, Independent-Working Blue-Green Lion-Otter hybrid, the one thing they have in common is unanimous agreement that I do have a personality." Yeah, that's me, too. (Well, except that I'm an INFP. But, hey, who's keeping track.)

Other articles in Management-Issues that I've already read and can recommend:
  • Incompetence at the Speed of Light - "Genghis Khan managed to rule over half the known world without once having a conference call or conducting a webinar. He did it all with a system of flags and horsemen. So why is it that most companies today, with more ways to communicate then ever, do such a lousy job?"
  • Satan's Training Brochure - "I've always had this feeling that some Middle Management behaviors are too wide-spread and identically performed in too many companies to simply be coincidence."
  • Santa's Performance Review - "I don't know about you, but I hate writing performance reviews. Then I got to thinking that some are harder than others. Take Santa Claus - what would you say about him?"
  • Big "L"s and little "l"s - "How do you differentiate between those who are leaders by title and those who are leaders because they actually behave like leaders? Don't make me name names to prove they're not the same thing. Just open a newspaper."
My favorite tongue-in-cheek line from Wayne - "I have been told I'm a hopeless semantic." Heh-heh. He may be cranky, but he's priceless.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Evil Empire, Now With Less Bureaucracy

General Tagge: But that's impossible. How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Sex Sells...God and Cheese?

A Protestant youth group has put together a 2006 calendar with 12 staged photos depicting erotic scenes from the Bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson's hair and a nude Eve offering an apple.

"There's a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism," said Stefan Wiest, the 32-year-old photographer who took the titillating pictures.
~ Calendars use sex to sell God and cheese

Saturday, July 21, 2007

One Thing is Not Necessarily Like the Other

Yesterday John Scalzi admitted that he's never read any of the Harry Potter books although, he says, "I saw one of the Potter books on a shelf and flipped open to a random page to get a sense of JK Rowling's writing style. After a few pages I decided that I would probably think better of the books if I didn't actually read any further." He then went on to point out that he likes the movies fine and referenced a previous post where he had said that The Lord of the Rings is an example of where the movies were better than the books.
In fact, one could argue -- now that the technology exists to illustrate the nature of his creation -- Tolkien's world is uniquely suited for film. The man created a vast store of world-building material for filmmakers to work with, including a history, a mythology, a geography and a bestiary. As a culture, Middle-Earth is arguably better known than some actual cultures that existed on this planet. ~ John Scalzi, Why the Film is Better than the Book
Actually, doesn't that mean that it would be even better to make this something you can experience? If there were only some way that we could engage ourselves interactively with that world... Oh, right. Gaming. You can try it out by playing Lord of the Rings Online.

I'm trying to imagine the reaction that my LOTR-loving friends would have to Scalzi's opinion. All of them love the movies because the movies were, indeed, reverent explorations of Tolkien's world. But I think that they would stop far short of saying that the books themselves are anything less than great works. And we're not talking about people who wouldn't have an opinion on literature. The three that come to mind have, in descending order of magnitude, a Masters in Literature (focus, Wordsworth), a Bachelors in English, and just a butt-load of literature classes for fun while getting a Bachelors in Biology. In the group I'm the low man on the totem pole, literary wise. (It hurts to say that, but it's true.)

Of course, this is basically Scalzi's opinion vs. the opinion of my peeps. What other sources could we turn to? Colbert would probably point out that the market has spoken, which makes both the book and the movie great. But certainly there are other people to cite. How about some literary reviews?

". . . the Tolkien mass popularity was not fostered by the mass media; it grew from the excellencies and appeals of the work itself and was simply reported in the media" ~Neil D. Issacs, On the Possibility of Writing Tolkien Criticism

"And all the time we know that the fate of the world depends far more on the small movement than on the great. This is a structural invention of the highest order: it adds immensely to the pathos, irony and grandeur of the tale." ~ C. S. Lewis, The Dethronement of Power (granted, they were peeps...)

"The Quest is one of the oldest, hardiest, and most popular of all literary genres. In some instances it may be founded on historical fact - the Quest of the Golden Fleece may have its origin in the search of seafaring traders for amber - and certain themes, like the theme of the enchanted cruel Princess whose heart can be melted only by the predestined lover, may be distorted recollections of religious rites, but the persistent appeal of the Quest as a literary form is due, I believe, to its validity as a symbolic description of our subjective personal experience of existence as historical... The essential elements in this typical Quest story are six. (1) A precious Object and/or Person to be found and possessed or married. (2) A long journey to find it, for its whereabouts are not originally known to the seekers. (3) A hero. The precious Object cannot be found by anybody, but only be the one person who possesses the right qualities of breeding or character. (4) A Test or a series of Tests by which the unworthy are screened out, and the hero revealed. (5) the Guardians of the Object who must be overcome before it can be won. They may be simply a further test of the hero's arete, or they may be malignant in themselves. (6) The Helpers who with their knowledge and magical powers assist the hero and but for whom he would never succeed. They may appear in human or animal form." ~ W. H. Auden, The Quest Hero (I know that my excerpt doesn't include a direct reference to Tolkien, but the set up is what he uses to later illustrate how Tolkien fulfilled it. I doubt you want to read the whole paper.)
And if you're a real Tolkienite (is that a word?) you have probably read The Road to Middle-earth, Shippey, 1982. Shippey has released a new (2001) tome called J.R.R. Tolkien, Author of the Century. A book review by David Bratman at The Mythopoeic Society notes: "By its deliberately provocative title, Shippey means two things -- that Tolkien was one of the great authors of the 20th century, despite critical attempts to dismiss his importance; and that Tolkien was an author of the century, a characteristically 20th-century writer, despite perceptions of him as a medieval atavism. Shippey discusses the curious critical neglect of Tolkien, and finds striking similarities between Tolkien and modern authors as different as George Orwell and William Golding."

What do you think? Are the LOTR books great books? Are the movies great movies? Is the game a great game? Do any of those things have an inter-relationship, meaning that greatness (or non-greatness) in one area inspires another?

Oh, and a post script. I made it through the first three Harry Potter books but lost interest during the fourth one and just set it aside. I see the movies, but not with any enthusiasm.

*Update 1/5/10: This post can now be reached through

Welcome to My Kingdom

our distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Kingdomality Personality Test

Are You a High Maintenance Employee?

31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

Human Resources Department Test

Friday, July 20, 2007

Both Rare and Valuable

Over at The Dilbert Blog Scott Adams is giving out some free career advice on the best way to achieve extraordinary success.

If you want an average successful life, it doesn’t take much planning. Just stay out of trouble, go to school, and apply for jobs you might like. But if you want something extraordinary, you have two paths:

1. Become the best at one specific thing.
2. Become very good (top 25%) at two or more things.

The first strategy is difficult to the point of near impossibility. Few people will ever play in the NBA or make a platinum album. I don’t recommend anyone even try.

The second strategy is fairly easy. Everyone has at least a few areas in which they could be in the top 25% with some effort.
What do you think? First, is this advice valid? Second, can you think of two or more Things You Want To Become Very Good At?

Scott writes, "In my case, I can draw better than most people, but I’m hardly an artist. And I’m not any funnier than the average standup comedian who never makes it big, but I’m funnier than most people. The magic is that few people can draw well and write jokes." Well, dang, I should have his job. Art and humor are like core functions for me. I just ignore them... until something bursts. He continues, "And when you add in my business background, suddenly I had a topic that few cartoonists could hope to understand without living it." Hmm. Maybe I should just take him out. It could be a simpler way to bully my way into the top 25%...

I started thinking about the ways that you can identify the Things You Want To Become Very Good At because, well, that's the way my mind works. One way is, of course, the MBTI. As an INFP I have lovely lists of particular talents and typical career paths to choose from. I always liked writer/novelist of course. Artist is there, too. One list even has a strong argument for accountant. Watch out, Scott Adams.

What else could you use? The book "First Break All the Rules" has an associated StrengthsFinder tool that, they say, helps you identify the top five strengths that you could develop to "world class level." I would assume that world class level is easily in the top 25%. Mine are Learning, Responsibility, Inclusion, Self-Assurance, and Input. I'm not sure how those relate to Scott's theory, but there it is. I guess I could combine learning, inclusion, and self-assurance to lead a philosophy group. Or I could combine responsibility and input to create the largest, best kept collection of... something. (I'm suspicious that it would be geeky.)

Where else can you turn? I thought another good source might be friends. So I turned to my two best friends to get their opinion on Three Things I'm Very Good At and got the following responses:
  • great storyteller, interest in learning new things and learning them in depth, ability to care
  • taking care of people, inspiring ideas, providing safety and comfort
Well, they didn't say anything much different than a combination of the other two sources. How about that? Now I just need to figure out how learning, storytelling, and loving people can be combined into an extraordinarily successful career.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Who Are You Callin' a Womp Rat?

My husband stood in line five hours in the hot Florida sun to buy it. We wrangled with the resort delivery system at Disney when they lost it. We drove it home 800 miles in the back seat. When he finally opened it up I gasped and said, "It's like a visual representation of our marriage!"

Yeah, I'm a geek.

But how cute is this guy? His little ears are covered in fuzzy fabric. His base lights up with little pin points of blue LED lights. For us it's like the Reese's Cup of our relationship. My Mouse got in his X-Wing.

Is there anything better?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

What an Interesting Smell You've Discovered

"My house, out of basic gastronomical necessity, smells like a top-end perfumery on the best of days..."

Subspace, when I read that line, I thought of you. Maybe you want to go read the story The Perfume Eater over on Strange Horizons. Unless, of course, you are actually R. J. Astruc. In which case, uh, I guess you've already read it.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Vulcan Bureaucracy

"Are you saying those Vulcan star charts aren't all that accurate? Well, if that's true, good luck getting them to admit it." ~ Commander 'Trip' Tucker, Enterprise

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Tagline Graveyard

I just wanted to create a memorial to old taglines. And make a place to put other taglines in case I ever decide to give up "#1 in Colbert Fan Fiction." Yeah, like that's ever going to happen in this wikiality.

During our political heyday:
All the liberal, and twice the caffeine...

The shorter version:
Welcome to our virtual frontier cabin.

Our original tagline:
Welcome to the frontier. One day we will all be in our porch rockers saying, "Yep, I remember when internet space stretched as far as the eye could see and all you needed to get you a piece was set up a name. Back then you just staked your claim and you could have your own little place...." So consider this our virtual frontier cabin.

Do You Know the Cheese God?

The internet is a funny thing. As you know, Sunday is God and Cheese Day here at the Thoughts, so I went looking for new God or Cheese items today. You can imagine my surprise when I found a Cheese God and that, furthermore, that the Cheese God was a geek. Synchronicity, serendipity, whatever you want to call it, it's still cool. 2007 marks the 10th year of Some quotes to give you the flavor of the Cheese God....
So many troubles in the world. World hunger. Wars being fought. People dying from incurable diseases. Global warming (or a natural state of climate change if you're a mental midget.) But none of these will matter any more come this Friday. The iPhone is coming. ~ Here Cometh the iPhone

"To eat the Onion Rings" \too eet thuh uhn-yuhn rÄ­ngs\, verb:
To have a disappointing ending or outcome. Example: The 2004 election ate the onion rings. ~ Phrase of the Day

So, if this data is correct, there are people who are interested in driving a tank while eating a whole rabbit and washing it down with a gallon of milk. Afterwards, being tired out, they'll relax in some kind of space age capsule with an 'Inflatable Party Sheep'. Seems logical... ~ Amazon Tank

First of all, who in the Water World would be a Paris Hilton fan? Someone hoping one day to be an alcoholic? A drug addict? A whore? Someone who loves bad acting? Someone who loves staying at Hilton hotels? I don't get it. ~ Forget Paris

HSBC bank has denied God a checking account. ~ HSBC Denies God
All hail the Cheese God.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Purple and Pushy... Tell Me Something I Don't Know...

Your Gemstone is Amethyst

Dignified, impressive, and wise.
You have a deeply spiritual soul

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way.
You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Desperately Seeking... Something

I was way behind the curve on finding out what searches were bringing people here from the intertubes. A sampling of recent searches that brought people to the Thoughts:
  • csi: ny "you've been served"
  • flaming bag of poop
  • weather staions
  • present sfspca analysis
  • subspace fridays
  • do you think utilitarianism is a theory that would work well in the united states? could we get past the concept of the individual for the greater goo
  • "which way did he go george"
  • history of parson's hat
  • my toon paisley
  • hyperintelligent shade of the color blue
  • political party affiliation scott bakula
  • self reflection candy treat
Even Soogle isn't quite sure what everyone was getting at. But it was nice of them to stop by.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Humor Me

Over at the Dilbert Blog Scott Adams has started a conversation about the subjectivity of humor. He shows two comic strips - one that he doesn't particularly like but that got a huge reaction of emails, and another that he loves but no one reacted to. He asks at the end of his post "Which comic did you like best?" My comment:
I didn't care for either one even though I "got" both of them.

Maybe we should work on creating some useful comic strip reader categories. Then I can know to only read stuff that falls into my category.

Examples of the ones I found incredibly funny, and this is just stuff I have at hand, not a full Dilbert archive analysis:

Wally: "One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee." (This is one of the reasons I say that Wally is my Yoda.)

Dilbert: "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feelings into emptiness."

Dilbert: "Ed is an Unreachable." (God, I want to be Ed...)

Dilbert: "You haven't given me enough resources to do my project." Boss: "That's because your project isn't important and neither are you." Dilbert: "This took an ugly turn." (Yep...)

Asok: "I need your comments on this before I submit it." Boss: "Just leave it here and hope I become the sort of boss who gets around to doing that sort of thing."

So what would you say my category is? Cynic?
What category of humor do you have? And does Dilbert hit it for you? If not, what does?

Sidhe Walks In Beauty

The Rock Rag, November 2003
Cover Article
Here Sidhe Comes
by Sue London

This interviewer had a chance to sit down with the rock band “Sidhe Walks In Beauty” before the kick-off of the North American tour for their album “Unseelie Court”. In case you’ve been living under a mushroom cap while this British sensation has taken off, Sidhe is pronounced “Shee” and is the Gaelic word for fey or fairy.

I met the three guy, one girl band at New York’s swank Casablanca Hotel. Leanan looked amazing in a little flowing blue number, while the boys Pooka, Spriggan and Boggie were all decked out in black grunge finery. The first thing I asked was, of course, “Why Sidhe?”

Spriggan replied, “Why the [expletive] do you [expletive] think, you [expletive]? We’re [expletive] fey!”

Leanan broke in with her usual charm, “And the band name is a reference to a Lord Byron poem. Since Byron is a personal friend it seemed like a nice tribute.” (When I mentioned that Byron had been dead for some time the band reassured me that he was in fact enjoying time with some friends at a fairie ring in Northern Ireland where time passes slowly and was in quite good health.)

Pooka, who had been glowering at me, spoke up. “We looked at those rock bands tearing up their hotel rooms, luring young people away from their homes to follow them, having sex with everyone within five feet of them, and we thought, what a rip-off! We’ve been acting like that for thousands of years and now some mortal brats are going to come along and make money at it? [Expletive]!”

Of course, over the years there has been the odd fairy to gain popularity in entertainment. Bryan Ferry, the son of a dryad, was a 1980s pop sensation and right now Tina Fey, a nymph, does the news on Saturday Night Live.

When I asked her about this, Leanan mused, “Tina has done a good job of toning down her natural allure. There is a real pressure as a sidhe where you wonder if you can make it without your glamour – if you can just succeed on your own hard work.”

Well, it’s certain that this great band is making it on their own hard work. Check out Sidhe Walks in Beauty coming soon to a town near you!

(November 2003 Bad Fairy Challenge, OWW)

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Random Ten

  1. The Show Must Go On - Queen
  2. Fat Cat Keeps Getting Fatter - Squirrel Nut Zippers
  3. You're in My Heart - Rod Stewart
  4. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
  5. Book of Days - Enya
  6. Someday - The Corrs
  7. Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner
  8. Whatever You Do! Don't! - Shania Twain
  9. "Oh drat these computers, they're so naughty and so complex!" - Marvin the Martian
  10. Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money


I get a lot of Google love, so it's quite possible that you came here looking for something in a search but didn't find what you really wanted. Try not to lose heart because you have discovered Soogle. If you leave a comment on this post I will use my extraordinary search skills and Irish luck on your behalf to find you that quote, mp3, arcane reference, or other hard-to-find information that you have been hunting. If you want references, well, I can tell you that I didn't nickname myself.

There's no charge for the service. It just keeps me entertained. But if you think I do a particularly good job for you, you can leave a little cha-ching in the change jar. Please note that this website is rated "G" for General Audiences. Anything of a risqué or questionable nature will be deleted from the comments.

Because Sunday is God and Cheese(cake) Day!

You Are Agnostic

God? Religion? Maybe... you're just not sure.
You're still figuring out your spiritual path... or figuring out you really don't care.
You believe that no one really can know the true story about religion or God.
So you might as well relax a little. You'll go crazy trying make sense of it all.

(Although what part of "Do you believe in God?" and then checking "yes" results in Agnostic, I have no idea.)

You Are a Chocolate Mocha and Orange Cheesecake

Enthusiastic and intense, there's so much you love in the world... it's hard to do it all.
You are good at getting things to mix - friends, flavors, hobbies. You're the master of fusion!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

What's It Like to Be An INFP?

It's like you walk around wearing your superfriends outfit under your 'normal' clothes all day long, wondering if you can tell anyone what your real powers are. It's being the only person in the room whose mind wanders to distant planets and purple dragons when the speaker drones on for too long. It's sitting at the back of the room and writing short stories because you got everything out of the class you were going to get in the first few minutes. (In other words, if it interests us we didn't need much explanation. It if doesn't, no amount of explanation is going to help.)

I cope by using my powers for good. I went from zero to hero at the age of 17 by learning that there are a limited number of"social scripts" that can be used to deal with people (thank God for that restaurant hosting job). It took me from shy, awkward agoraphobic teenager to an adult that is perceived as outgoing and friendly (even though social situations actually make me cringe). I'm able to parlay my "F" warmth and empathy into what they call "winning presentations".

But I really just want to travel to distant planets and ride purple dragons. So, basically, as an INFP my most fervent wish is to not HAVE to "cope"!

"He is a man of religious experience whose creative gift enables him to communicate spiritual truths to men." -- Elizabeth Henry, Orpheus and His Lute

Wow. That's amazing. That is everything that my soul has yearned for. Sometimes I don't feel a whole lot like an INFP since I work in an ESTJ world (finance) and sometimes I'm really *good* at it. I can be as E S T or J as I need to be for my job, so then I start to look at the other types. But I always end up realizing that ultimately this is where I fit best. That as an INFP I have a capacity for flexibility, role-playing, and using my empathy to read my audience and give them what they want. Guess what? It makes me tired.

The runner up type for me is INTP because I can be very analytical, and I test right on the border between T/F. But I definitely care about people more than logic. But I get along very well with my INTP boss... and husband... and cube mate.

As to who I identify with, it would be Oscar Wilde. I love writers with wit and humor covering a deep pathos and sensitive understanding of human nature. Wilde was a master of that. One of his quotes is, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." What could be more INFP than that?

*Cross-posted (with edits) from The Introvertz Coach*

Because Saturdays Are Fun Days

For Evil Spock:

What Your Latte Says About You

You are very decadent in all aspects of your life. You never scale back, and you always live large.

You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious.

Intense and energetic, you aren't completely happy unless you are bouncing off the walls.

You're addicted to caffeine. There's no denying it.

You are a child at heart, and you don't ever miss the opportunity to do something playful.

You are deep and thoughtful, but you are never withdrawn.

7 Things on 7/7/7

I was tagged by Bruce back in May, and now that I'm back I will answer the call of the 7s.

Rules! We've got some rules around here! Each person tagged blogs 7 random facts about themselves, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

Seven random factoids...

  1. I test out as an INFP in the Myers-Briggs personality test. Yeah, like you didn't know that. In a brilliant piece of circular logic, that's why I take tests like that.... and then feel the compulsion to share it with you. Thanks for putting up with that.
  2. I wish I was an absurdist because I think it's cool, but I'm a little bit too spiritual. (Which, as Evil Spock points out, really just means that "you're too lazy to go church and you hate the NFL. Why can't spiritual people just say you have better things to do?!?" Heh-heh.)
  3. I love my husband.
  4. I have three cats and they are all named after characters from James Bond movies.
  5. I just finished reading Stephen King's "Lisey's Story" this week. On average I probably read two books a week, but this year I'm starting to keep track by writing the date on the inside of mass market paperbacks when I finish them. I'm having a hard time bringing myself to write in King's book, even a simple "July 2007," which in and of itself tells me that I respect his work more than I'd realized. Even though he still does things in his writing that irritate me.
  6. I love long life better than figs.
  7. I skipped high school. Yep, pretty much the whole thing. I went to college on brains and chutzpah (and a student loan).
Tag forward...

Nevsky at 2+2=5
"O" at The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
subspace at Bean Mines
Pam at beancounters
Scott Adams at Dilbert Blog
sixthdoctor at lighthearted mental sewage
Evil Spock at the Needs of the Few

Friday, July 6, 2007

Stephen vs. the Factinistas: Episode Two

Deep within the Factinista headquarters, hidden within the very deepest, darkest recesses of the South America jungle, under a mountain, beside a raging river, and just down from that little taco stand that serves those really great café brèves (you know the place I'm talking about), Commander Sue was working diligently on her Very Facty Plan.

The reports she was receiving told her that the memo about an attack on the studio were having the desired affect. The interns were losing their minds with worry and were desperate to raise the cash for a little private security. Now, with just a small donation and the right word in the right ear... Yes, this Very Facty Plan was going swimmingly.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Random Horoscope

I picked up the link to the Horoscope Generator over at beancounters. I found his layout a bit odd - a generic horoscope usually has Aries in the first house, but this has the rising line oriented at about 15 degrees Sagittarius - but the graphic is cute and the idea is fun.

Full disclosure, I clicked on Scorpio:

Give up on your dream of being a master debater. • Wash your hands more often. • Your favorite aunt is actually your favorite uncle. • Your favorite cousin wants to sleep with you.

Three out of four things seem on target. I bet that made you curious...

Test your Creativity Quotient

Test your Creativity Quotient (CQ). Take the brief test that follows by adding up the numbers next to the answers that you think best fit your own personality. Evaluation scale will follow.

1. You enter your room and discover your alarm clock is melting into the bed. Should you:
A) Call the phone company to find out what time it is. (0)
B) Think about how fast your clock is running. (1)
C) Ask your clock, "Why the long face?" (3)
D) Don't really worry because the bed is melting into the foor. (5)

2. Penguin Dust is
A) Fallout registered from an exploding penguin. (0)
B) A phrase in a poem by Gregory Corso. (3)*
C) A command given to a penguin, such as "Penguin, do the dishes," or, "Penguin, vacuum." (5)
D) Something you buy at your local pet store. (4)

3. My favorite television program is
A) "Wheel of Fortune." (0)
B) "The A-Team." (-5)
C) "Sesame Street." (3)
D) The test pattern. (5)

4. What killed the dinosaurs?
A) An ice age (0)
B) The swamps dried up. (1)
C) Furry little animals. (3)
D) Penguin Dust. (5)

5. There is a tiny rabbit climbing up your nose. What color is he?
A) White (0)
B) Khaki (-5)
C) There is no tiny rabbit, the lavender wombat ate him. (4)
D) Which one of the tiny rabbits are you talking about? (5)

6. How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A) Straight pin or safety pin? (-5)
B) Almost 17 (1)
C) 42. (3)
D) About as many as can fit in the hole of a bowling ball. (5)

7. What is the square root of 69?
A) 8.3066 (-5)
B) Eight something (2)
C) I don't know; I failed Calc. 1 (3)
D) Too disgusting to imagine. (5)

8. My favorite poet is
A) Dylan Thomas. (1)
B) Sylvia Plath. (2)
C) William Shakespeare (0)
D) Gregory Corso, author of "Penguin Dust." (5)

9. A sequel to the painting "Nude Descending Staircase" might be called
A) "Nude Posing on Landing" (1)
B) "Crap." (-5)
C) "Nude Reclining on Bannister." (3)
D) "Same Nude Three Steps Further Down." (5)

10. Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall. Why?
A) Obesity. (1)
B) Misunderstanding of the Laws of Physics. (3)
C) Death Wish. (3)
D) Misdirected sex drive. (5)

11. Vocabulary test: Scintilla, cartouche, synaptic, scoobedoo. Of those
words, I knew, without looking them up, the meaning of:
A) none of them. (0)
B) two of them. (1)
C) Three of them. (4)
D) all five of them. (5)

12. How do you know when you pass an elephant?
A) You see a big, grey thing in your rearview mirror. (3)
B) You squash your wide receiver with a completed pass. (3)
C) You feel an excruciating pain. (4)
D) You can't close the toilet seat. (5)


Each number in parenthesis indicates the creativity of that answer. Ratings of zeros, ones and twos indicates that you are pretty neutral in the creativity department. Threes, fours, and fives show that you have some verbal agility and creativity. Any score of minus five indicates a very disturbed personality. Add up all your numbers and compare with the chart below:

Zero or less: Raw potatos have more pizazz than you. You probably voted for Nixon. With some effort you can understand certain comic strips and cartoons.

1-20: Little or no creativity. You might once have stepped inside an art museum and have tried a crossword puzzle. You are reasonably fluent in the English language.

21-59: Scores within this range indicate an above average CQ. The Rubic's Cube does not offer any challenge, and dealing with the average person is too painful for you.

60 or higher: You are dangerously insightful, practically unemployable, and probably psychotic. You identify with Hamlet. You might also identify with vegetables, particularly Chinese.

This test was designed by Mark R. Frank, who has no PhD in anything and should not be allowed to be loose on the streets. His favorite color is paisley.

*If you're here for Gregory Corso, the "penguin dust" line is from his poem "Marriage" which is on this page that I also linked to above.

Notes from the Commander: I have had this in my file of funnies long enough that it is TYPED (with an IBM typewriter back in the 80s) but I did not cite the source. I think that it was OMNI magazine, but I'm not sure. I found it online here, but he does not cite the source either. I'm putting it here so that I can find it when I want it and share it with my peeps. If Mark R. Frank would like to stop by and tell us what he's up, that would be great. If he (or the publishing magazine) would like to post an official copy I will be happy to take mine down. But until then, it's too much fun not to share.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Sorry, I'm Back...

In case you wondered - no, the fumes didn't kill me off. I've been away because... it's a long story. How are you?

Since today is a holiday, Happy Independence Day!!, a little bit of pop-psych for fun:

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please