You Know You're a Republican When...

• You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
• You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
• You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
• You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
• You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
• You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
• You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
• The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
• You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.