Tweet, Tweet, Tweet

You Would Be a Pet Bird

You're intelligent and witty, yet surprisingly low maintenance. You charm people easily, and they usually love you a lot more than you love them. You resent anyone who tries to own or control you. You refuse to be fenced in. Why you would make a great pet: You're very smart and entertaining Why you would make a bad pet: You're not interested in being anyone's pet! What you would love about being a bird: Flying, obviously What you would hate about being a bird: Being caged

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

My Nickname Was Pumpkin...

Your Scent is Pumpkin Pie

Warm, comforting, and a bit old fashioned You've got what men want - believe it or not!

What's Your Girl Smell?

Slogan Generator for Reals

Your Slogan Should Be

Sue. Uncommonly Made, Uncommonly Good.

The Slogan Generator

I had to regenerate about five times because everything else sounded like a not-subtle sexual innuendo.

Fun with Slogans

Your Slogan Should Be

Commander Sue London. All Around Fun Chick.

The Slogan Generator

Coffee art pic courtesy of Creative Coffee Art.

Bad Analogies or Good Humor?

I stumbled across this list of supposed "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay," but I noticed that many of the entries had the same flavor as a Douglas Adams quote or a Steven Wright punch line. I think that most of them, if delivered in the right context, would be that delightful mix of absurdist, wry, and twisted that I love in my humor.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. ~ Russell Beland, Springfield

The ships hovered in the air exactly as a brick wouldn't. ~ Douglas Adams

See? That was almost precisely the same. The first one is a kid whose teacher thought his writing was horrid enough to submit to the website. The second is a famous, beloved science fiction writer. It's possible that young Russell was an Adams fan and his teacher just didn't get it. And maybe someone can enlighten us as to whether Adams himself had writing teachers who thought his writing was horrid. If so, well, I guess you can say he was laughing all the way to the bank...

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. ~ Joseph Romm, Washington

Whenever I fill out an application and it says 'In case of an emergency notify...,' I put Doctor. What the hell is my mother gonna do? ~ Steven Wright

Joseph's bit takes a while longer to get to the punchline, but you can see that the concept and construct is very similar in style. It makes me wonder if Wright's teachers never quite got his dry wit. I'm thinking no, most of them probably didn't.

So bad analogies? No, I think most of these kids hit the rhythm of good humor. But hey, that's me. I make a statement like black type in the middle of a big white space.

How Are You Going to Celebrate Earth Day?

Yes, But What Do the Bermuda Shorts Mean??

The "Draw a Pig" Personality Test Results for Sue London

Click to view my test results

Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.
With many details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful.
With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.
Medium sized ears, you are a good listener.

p.s. For the record, drawing with a mouse was a PITA.

Monday, Monday

Monday is Sci-Fi and Bureaucracy Day here at the Thoughts, so a little of each for you.

Meet SciFi Chick. She's reads and reviews a ton of science fiction. Awesome.

The Bureaucracy Quiz. I only got an 80%. I obviously have a lot of Federal Bureaucracy to brush up on.

Heave that Talent and Creativity

David Wong derides the shallow objectification of women in video games, closing with this tongue-in-cheek assertion:

Like all industry, it is inevitable that females will eventually forge their place in the world of game design. The female designers will burst on the scene soon enough, heaving their giant bosoms of talent and creativity and brandishing their black thongs of diversity.
~ David Wong, A Gamer's Manifesto

Personally I've never been very bothered by the bimbo-esque style of most female video game characters. In our fantasy life what woman wouldn't want to be totally hot while also completely kicking her buddy's behind? My Chun Li won many a night of heated Street Fighter contests. And that irritating giggle/bounce thing that the character does really started to get on their nerves. Heh-heh. Good times, good times...

Weird Hit? Or Weirdest Hit?

I just got traffic on my site for the search term "Undress Barbie."

This scares me.

O Great Chocolate Oracle!

I think that this may be unfortunately very accurate...

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sophisticated, modern, and high class. Your taste is refined, but you are not picky. You are often the first to try something new. You are a whimsical person prone to daydreaming. Artistic and creative, you're always in the middle of a project. While you are an inspiration to others, you can come off as flaky. You love to be the center of attention. You enjoy entertaining your friends. You feel lost when no one is interested in you... You're too interesting to be ignored.

The Chocolate Oracle

Sane Reaction to an Insane Situation?

Do you remember the story from last year about the woman who took a hammer to a Comcast office?

I feel her pain.

I'm in the endless circle of trying to figure out who you talk to in order to get a charge removed that someone already told you was removed but now it's been two months and of course it is still on the bill. It is a lovely cycle of 800 number, online support, and local office. Repeat until driven completely insane.

Comcast needs a different business model. From what I can tell the answer is that no matter what your problem is NO ONE CAN HELP YOU. It is like their corporate model is to be actively unhelpful. Sure, some of the individual people I talk to are nice enough and I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping me if, you know, they could. BUT THEY NEVER CAN. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I know that previous issues have eventually been resolved but I think that I become insensate by the time we reach resolution so I don't even have clues as to how I can make that issue to resolution path any faster. I think it all comes down to the luck of the draw. Sometimes, on very special nights when the moon is exceptionally bright and God is smiling down from heaven... on those nights you actually get ahold of someone who knows what they are doing. Otherwise? Well, you might as well warm up the hammer.

Who's Laughing Now?

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Sense of Humor Your best quality is your sense of humor! People like you because you can find humor in any situation. You love to make people laugh. This makes you a fun person to be around.

What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

The Holy Land of Cheese

The Cheezhead says that the Holy Land of Cheese is Wisconsin. Should the Thoughts make a pilgrimage?

The Right Stress

Life is interesting, with each day revealing a bit more to us than the one before as long as we are paying attention. Like most people I spend most days doing anything but paying attention. Paying bills, petting the cat, reading the blogs... But every once in awhile I'm actually alert when the Cosmic Trickster decides to pull the curtain back for a second to let me in on some of the secrets of the universe. This week's lesson? The right kind of stress.

See, I used to think that I was great at handling stress. Then over the last few years my attitude eroded and I became, well, difficult to deal with and a poster child of "overstressed." Then this past Thursday I got news that at first was fairly traumatic. It indicated that things were going to change. I had gotten used to the way things are and wasn't sure I liked the idea of change. But once over the initial shock something interesting happened. I was PSYCHED! Something that I had sort of known for years became completely, viscerally clear.

I LOVE CHANGE.

I love the challenge of change. I love the mental athletics of figuring out what to do, the mental and physical endurance required to see it through. My entire being is uplifted by facing the uncertainties and decisions required. I knew, on some level, that I love starting things. But I hadn't realized that it would triple my energy level and make me, you know, great to be around again. To go from grumpy, overworked be-atch to bouncy, enthusiastic songbird in about four hours is pretty amazing. It made me realize that the reason I had thought, previously, that I was good at handling stress is that earlier in my life THAT was the sort of stress that I was handling. A lot of people hate that sort of stress so they would look on me with wonder and confusion about how I could be so upbeat while dealing with it. Little did they (or I) know, it was GIVING me energy.

That got me thinking and I realized that it is a common thing. Some situations that one person considers stressful, another thrives in. For instance, Winterwolf is energized responding to a disaster. Give him people to take care of, logistics to handle, and issues to negotiate - all while some horrible natural disaster is bearing down on him - and he is completely engaged. Put me in the same situation and, well, I wouldn't accept the situation. I'm not built for taking care of others in crisis. Contrariwise, he doesn't much care for leaping out into the great unknown and "building a parachute on the way down" in the way that I do. To an outside observer there may seem to be a lot of similarity between what we are energized by, but to us it seems radically different. When I want to start a business he keeps me from acting too quickly, when he needs to help someone who had a fire I stay home and take care of the dogs.

So, basically, all of these things are only stressful to the people who shouldn't be doing them. And for each thing that you consider stressful there is probably someone who thrives on it like the nectar of life. Which makes me think that this is all some sort of cosmic puzzle.

What stress is the right stress for you? What challenging things invigorate you while everyone else stands by and says, "Wow, I don't know how you manage to do that!"

Mordant Orange

I found a new cartoon to share called Mordant Orange. A few to get you started:

The Cruel World of Fruit Fly Dating
Blackmailed Bear
Little Help
Love Isn't Cheap

You Can Take Me to a Ballgame and I Make a Great Sandwich

You Are A Peanut

You are popular, even with people who tend to have picky taste. Kids love you, as do dogs. From rednecks to snobs, most people have a place for you in their hearts. As popular as you are, there are some people who can't be near you. Don't take it too personally. There's just a few people you rub the wrong way.

What Nut Are You?

Talkin' 'bout My Generation

You Belong in Generation X

You fit in best with people born between 1961 and 1981. You are fun, laid back, and very independent. You are willing to take risks and live your life however you see fit. You are casual, accepting, and friendly. You see everyone as your equal.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

I actually tested out as a Baby Boomer the first time and had to change the answer to #5. I work with a lot of Baby Boomers and they would SOOOO disagree with me being one of them.

I Intuit

I stumbled upon a free online MBTI test called 41 Questions. I grabbed a snapshot of my results from the site, where they mark the relative position of your preferences on a sliding scale.

My "Intuitive" results look like they are about to fall off the top of the chart. So I would say that my relative results are something more like INFP. This is a pretty consistent result for me and I've seen this displayed different ways.

Basically, I get my energy from time alone or in contemplation. When presented with a decision I will always ultimately go with my gut. I'm flexible between feeling and thinking, with a preference for values over analysis. I prefer open options, but not so strongly that I fight closure.

At work I can very easily cross over into INTJ-land, becoming more analytical and closure-oriented than I am naturally. After a few days straight of that I regret that I didn't go into the arts and I have to play with my crayons or something.

How about you? Have you taken this type of test before? Do the results ever surprise you? Do you get the same results over and over? Do you think that it accurately reflects your strengths and areas of flexibility?

DespairWear

Despair.com delivered on their DespairWear promise "The clothes make the man, and these clothes make the man sad." Or at least they make this woman sad. I love futuristic stuff, but this t-shirt makes me want to cry.



DespairWear

The Blog of Despair

WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?

Yes, I know where the Cheetos are - they're right next to you!





Original Post in 2008:
Why does Chester Cheetah have to be all hatin' and stuff now? Have you seen the rather mean-spirited series of Cheetos commercials that have come out lately? I have to admit that it offends my sense of ethics and pretty much turns me off of their product.

I know it's not easy bein' cheesy, but has that somehow turned Chester to the dark side?

If I can't eat Cheetos... that's like half a gamer's diet! What is a poor geek to do?

(title references that old Dr. Demento bit)

Welcome to the Party

Web comic Mike Stanfill over at The Far Left Side posted this in his "rant" section on April 2nd:

Oar Story.

You will often hear people say "There's no difference between Democrats and Republicans".

Avoid these people. They are injecting the KooL-Aid© directly into their medula oblongata with a bent turkey baster.

Here's a little anecdote I contrived to help others easily remember the difference between the two parties:

There are two ships in the harbor. One is the Democratic ship and the other is the Republican ship. Each is manned by 100 sturdy sailors, ready at their oars.

On the Democratic ship the captain stands before his men and says "We all sail this great ship of state today not as individuals, but as a collective. No matter whether weak or strong, large or small, if we all work together, if every man pitches in and gives it everything he's got, then this ship will sail fast and true. And all will benefit equally as a result of our labors."

On the Republican ship, the captain takes a moment to survey his crew before saying "Welcome, slaves!"

They Say the Clothes Make the...

find your inner clothing style @ quizmeme.com

This Party Needs More Cowbell

Does your party need more cowbell? Try on the Christopher Walken mask.

I Beg to Differ

I found a lovely list of Philosophy Games. Things were going along swimmingly on Battleground God until I got the following result:

You've just taken a direct hit!

Earlier you agreed that it is rational to believe that the Loch Ness monster does not exist if there is an absence of strong evidence or argument that it does. No strong evidence or argument was required to show that the monster does not exist - absence of evidence or argument was enough. But now you claim that the atheist needs to be able to provide strong arguments or evidence if their belief in the non-existence of God is to be rational rather than a matter of faith.

The contradiction is that on the first ocassion (Loch Ness monster) you agreed that the absence of evidence or argument is enough to rationally justify belief in the non-existence of the Loch Ness monster, but on this occasion (God), you do not.

To be precise, these are the questions (true/false answers) that were asked:

Question 10

If, despite years of trying, no strong evidence or argument has been presented to show that there is a Loch Ness monster, it is rational to believe that such a monster does not exist.

Question 14

As long as there are no compelling arguments or evidence that show that God does not exist, atheism is a matter of faith, not rationality.

If you can't find evidence of the Loch Ness Monster it is RATIONAL TO ARRIVE AT THE BELIEF that there isn't one. If you don't find evidence of God it is RATIONAL TO ARRIVE AT THE BELIEF that there isn't one. But although you can arrive at the belief rationally, actually holding a belief is within itself not rational (faith is by definition not a rational act). So atheism - a BELIEF - is A MATTER OF FAITH. The truly rational position would be "I can draw no conclusions" which would be by definition agnostic. And I've always said there's no end to what an agnostic can do when they're really not sure whether or not they believe in anything...

They say if I disagree with their game I can go read their faq. Feh.

My results?
The fact that you progressed through this activity being hit only once and biting no bullets suggests that your beliefs about God are well thought out and almost entirely internally consistent.

Whatevs.

From My Alternate Life in Google

Thanks to my blog buddy Scoops, this graphic:

And so can you!!

Is that what I've been up to?

Thanks to Scoops (who is only licensed in California) I'm on to the name game!

1. Susan is a most admirable slut
2. Susan is an attractive, popular, 16-year old
3. Susan is a spiritual artist
4. Susan is an amazing coach
5. Susan is a Democrat
6. Susan is cocksure
7. Susan is actually an accomplished musician and song writer
8. Understand this: Susan is America
9. SUSAN is a board game with simple rules, but is trickier to play than one would think
10. Susan is also the author of a number of books

Captain's Log

These are the voyages of the USS Movie Theater....


No, seriously, doesn't this remind you of the Enterprise somehow? Why is everything cooler in Hong Kong?

via Tech Info