OK, Justice Scalia, you're gay...

I mean, we get it already. Sheesh, it's not like there's anything wrong with that...

New Millenium Vocabulary

You know, it's funny, but I've been picking up new words for the new millenium. They've been out there, but they didn't mean much to me personally before. Here are two that I will carry forward into the future, remembering always how much they meant to me in the early 2000s.

Kakistocracy - I found this one posted in a co-workers cube. According to Heritage (via dictionary.com): Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

Antinomian - I picked this one up from the 10/22/03 Daily Show interview with Walter Isaacson. He said he had always wanted to use it in a sentence. According to Heritage (via dictionary.com): Opposed to or denying the fixed meaning or universal applicability of moral law: "By raising segregation and racial persecution to the ethical level of law, it puts into practice the antinomian rules of Orwell's world. Evil becomes good, inhumanity is interpreted as charity, egoism as compassion" I also like the Webster's definition (via dictionary.com): One who maintains that, under the gospel dispensation, the moral law is of no use or obligation, but that faith alone is necessary to salvation.

Obviously the world has seen these things before, because there are already words for it. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same....

Maybe it's time to look at those Iceland brochures again...

...when Onion articles are more accurate and informative than what you'd find in your average mainstream media outlet.

Everyone Here Is Treating Me Real Well....

I knew that the military liked conformity, but writing the soldier's letters home for them seems like a bit much.

ABC News reports:
Each letter was signed by a different soldier, but the words were identical: "Kirkuk is a hot and dusty city of just over a million people. The majority of the city has welcomed our presence with open arms. After nearly five months here, the people still come running from their homes, into the 110-degree heat, waving to us as our troops drive by on daily patrols of the city. Children smile and run up to shake hands and in their broken English shouting, "Thank you, Mister." ... In an e-mail to ABCNEWS today, the commander of the battalion, Lt. Col. Dominic Caraccilo, said the "letter-writing initiative" was all his idea.

On the one hand I know a lot of people who hate to write letters or feel that they can't express themselves. But on the other hand I think that it would have been a lot better if the Lt. Col. had written the letter, signed it himself, and then offered it to the soldiers to INCLUDE in their letters home. The way it was done smells like a rat. It makes me wonder if there was some sort of pressure applied to the guys to 'be a good soldier' and send this letter home. I hope not because honestly I would want to kick the a** of anyone who treated them that way. They are in a difficult enough spot as it is.

We Americans like to think of ourselves as 'the good guys'. I can't imagine what a gruelling ordeal the soldiers are dealing with in Iraq. So if they were welcomed in Kirkuk (which the ABC News article leads me to believe), then I'm glad the battallion got a chance to feel like the good guys. Politically I wish they weren't there. For their safety I wish they weren't there. But really, Lt. Col. Caraccilo, don't try to pull the wool over our eyes and don't put words in their mouths (and letters). I'm sure that Amy Connell's son could have penned a much more poignant letter if he had just written, "Mom, I feel like a hero..."

It's not just you, part two...

An interesting article in Salon.com about how the middle-class dream is dying. You'll need to view an ad in order to see the article but it's worth it. You can buy Elizabeth Warren's book here.

Lord, he's even a bigger asshole than Limbaugh...

Hey everyone, Rumsfeld's ducking questions. After three years of acting as if Rumsfeld's assholery was somehow endearing, wouldn't it be nice if the press grew a pair and started calling out Donald Ducker?

Mellow Greetings, Citizen. What is Your Boggle?
Proving God Has a Sense of Humor

What did you say, Nevsky? "Oh, screw it. I don't live there." Well, Orrin Hatch has a nasty little surprise for you. Sort of like finding nuclear sludge at the bottom of your Christmas stocking. What is it? S.J. 15. If you don't like reading straight up congressional bills, rense.com has a great page where he pulls together the text of the bill, some articles, and a little commentary. Basically the bill is a proposal for a constitutional amendment changing that pesky little requirement for United States Presidents to be born here. Hatch would like to change the requirement to be 20 year citizens. How does this relate to Ahnuld? The Salt Lake Tribune says, "While the measure was not introduced with Schwarzenegger in mind, Hatch said the Austrian-born superstar would be a perfect example of why the constitutional amendment is needed."

Ka-thunk.

Sorry, that was me falling on the floor. Remember a couple of weeks back when I said that we were waking up from loony land? I apologize. I was completely wrong. We have walked through the glass darkly, we have drunk the potion, we have gone down the rabbit hole, we are strangers in a strange land, we are.... how shall I say this? COMPLETELY POOCH SCREWED! I love science fiction but one of my basic tenets is that anything, ANYTHING that takes us a step closer to making it a reality is probably a bad thing. In case you missed it, the movie "Demolition Man" makes a reference to a Constitutional Amendment that allowed Ahnuld to become president. (In the movie it was number 61 I think but in reality this might be somewhere in the high twenties.) When life starts to imitate art - especially a Sly Stallone film - I begin to wonder if it is time to move to a deserted island....

My. Lord.

They did it. They actually elected Arnold Schwarznegger governor of California. Christ in a shopping cart, the guy wasn't even the best ACTOR on the ballot (Gary Coleman got 12,000 votes, btw). And even Jesse Ventura was the mayor of his 500-citizen-strong town before they elected him governor. Either Gray Davis was an even bigger dick than I thought, or you guys are NUTS...

Oh, screw it. I don't live there. At least we've been given a three-year respite from Arnold's shitty films...

She Said
(Response to "I'm keeping an eye on you corporate scumwads...)

Why won't McDonald's face the fact that their market share is based on being consistent? I squarely blame this McNugget fiasco on the same rats that changed my apple pie from deep fried to baked and my ice cream to frozen yogurt/ice milk/crud. Don't even START me on the fries. If we WANTED food that was good for us we wouldn't be at McDonald's anyway, you morons!

My main criterion for a good McDonald's is that I can stop at one in any of the 50 states and get the same lukewarm cheap cheeseburger, moderately good fries, and a COKE. Is that asking too much?? Please, people. Stick with what you know how to do.

I'm keeping an eye on you, corporate scumwads...

As if there isn't enough to be outraged about, McDonald's revealed its plans for a new, leaner McNugget. Isn't that like creating an SUV designed NOT to create the impression the owner has enormous genitals? I'm not sure how the redesigned McNugget fits in with the obvious goal of maximizing profits at the expense of the lower classes, so let's just deal with the implications of the redesigned snack product. I'm wary about the switch to all white-meat, but I'm willing to go along with that if it means less grizzle consumption. If you McDonald's rat-bastards fuck with the breading, though, you will face my wrath. Believe that.