What's In A Holiday?

Would a holiday by any other name smell as sweet? Read The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat's contemplation of American holidays, President's Day: Your Opportunity to Buy Carpet wherein he compares Real American Holidays to everything else.

Independence Day:

Event: Commemorating the day White, Rich Men gave the finger to other White, Rich Men in Crowns and silly wigs.

Ritual: Parades, 21 Gun Salutes, Hot Dogs, Hamburgers, Fireworks, trips to the emergency room when an M-80 goes off in your shoe;

Carpet Sales: Minimal.

Columbus Day: If Columbus Day is a Holiday, I demand a holiday for St. Brendan, Lief Erikson, Zheng He, and Ian "Sammy" Samwell who discovered the band "America".