Sunday, July 31, 2011

What If Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Commercials?

 Something I've noticed over the years is that I'm very happy that the world isn't like it is in commercials. You'd think that they would want to show us everything we WANTED, but when I watch most commercials my inner-Sue yells, "DO.NOT.WANT!" Why? Well, here are the top three offenders from the land of ads...

Men Are Idiots and Women Are Shrews
Have you noticed this? Every commercial with two adults of opposite sex, especially if they are represented as being married, has this dynamic. For fun I try to imagine the roles reversed and then I am teleported to the 50s.

Children Only Come in Two Versions: Annoying Smart-Asses and Cute Idiots
Seriously, those are my only two choices for progeny? An eye-rolling, tart-mouthed punk or an angel with the I.Q. of a turnip? No wonder I haven't had kids yet.

Pets Are the Only Ones Who Really Love You, But You Will Probably Screw Something Up and Kill Them
Pets are usually represented as sweet, smart, and wonderful. But the undertones of almost all the ads is that you are currently doing something wrong, or about to do something wrong, that will take away Fido and Fluffy's love forever.