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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Alternative Names for Cubicles

14. Soul-Sucking Pod o' Death

13. Tomb of the Unknown Bureaucrat

12. Slack-In-The-Box

11. Headquarters, Jodie Foster Fan Club

10. Peon Palazzo

9. Yuppie Terrarium

8. The SnackFooda Triangle

7. English Majors Entry Point

6. Luxury Manhattan Apartment

5. Picasso's Folly

4. International Porn Downloading Headquarters

3. Fortress of Servitude

2. Casa de Livin' La Vida Veal

1. Wraparound Turbo Demoralizer 2000

Source: StrangeCosmos Vol. 662
www.strangecosmos.com

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Return of Soogle

Did you miss me? I missed you.

You know I can't pass up a meme, even one I'm not invited to. But this also gives me a chance to introduce a new blogging friend, Scoops Mangum.

1. Do you believe in spirits haunting houses?
Yes. No. Maybe. Only on Thursdays. My experiences are very limited but some people who are very close to me have had serious experiences that span a wide paranormal spectrum.

2. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
Sort of. Sometimes I had invisible pets, especially an invisible friend dog named Woof. And other times I became Woof. Up to and including insisting on eating some meals on the floor. Strange, strange child...

3. Where is your home town?
I find this very hard to answer since I never lived in the city I was born in. And I've lived in a LOT of places (20+). Places that are significant to me include Picayune (MS), New Orleans (LA) and Chapel Hill (NC).

4. What is you favorite Mexican food?
YUMMY! My very, very favorite thing is black bean and jack cheese chimichanga with a ton of sour cream and honey jalepeno sauce.

5. Has anything scary ever happened to you that was hard to believe?
As I mentioned before not much paranormal has happened to me. But the thing that did was odd. We had been discussing the fey for a few days and put in some Celtic music that supposedly had a fey connection then snuggled in for a nap. There was a sudden crashing out in the living room. We went out and a poster had flown off the wall, careened across a desk and landed in the middle of the room. Strange, we thought, but strange things happen. I propped it up against the wall and we went back to lay down. A few minutes later there was another, louder crash. A wire rack over the sink that held "kitchen stuff" like measuring cups and spices (about 18"X24" with hangers and click-in shelving) had landed in the bar across from the wall - about four or five feet from where it was hanging. We looked back and forth. Coulda happened, we figured, coulda pulled out and toppled. Then we noticed that there were no pull marks down (from weight) in the wallboard where it had been hanging. It had somehow flown directly out of the wall. Cue the Twilight Zone music. We turned off the CD and never talked about the fey again.

6. What weird habits did you have when you were younger?
Obviously I pretended I was my own invisible best friend...

7. Have you ever wished by pulling apart a wishbone?
Yes, at every opportunity. Although I've never grabbed a live turkey or chicken and tried it on them. I have some self-restraint.

8. What part of your body currently smells funny?
My ears, but they've been practicing for their gig at the Improv so I suppose that is to be expected.

9. Would you rather live in a small or big house?
I like big houses because they are interesting. Not a McMansion, but something rambling and full of fascinating things.

10. What's something not many people know about you?
That I have a blog. Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that!

11. What hobby of yours calms you down?
Any kind of art. Drawing, painting... I especially love coloring with crayons. My husband buys me a lot of coloring books.

12. Does the Discovery Channel interest you?
Yes. It's like the old PBS but newer and shinier. Like PBS done by E!

13. Who was your first best friend?
My step-sister.

14. Would you know what to do if there was a zombie uprising?
Of course I would. I'm a gamer.

15. Do you listen to hardcore music?
No. Although I was familiar with Black Flag back in the day I was never a fan. Once the punk scene started I was immediately off on the New Wave track with The Police and their ilk.

16. Do you own/want a Sidekick?
I love Scoops answer, but since he has already covered sarcasm I will answer straight. I don't own one but sure, I'd like a Sidekick. Let me be a wee bit more virtual, why not.

17. Who do you know has the prettiest hair?
I find this question hard to answer. Different hair is pretty for different reasons. I can think of a few people at work - the woman with the dark, gypsy curls; the woman with the straight, perfect "flip" hair. My husband calls mine "angel hair" and his is so thick and wavy that the hairdressers go ga-ga over him. (They rebel against his keep-it-short-and-no-hair-product stance. Whenever they put gel in it he immediately comes home and takes a shower.)

18. What's the most colorful thing in your closet?
Wow. That's a good question. I have things in the following colors: bright purple, bright lime green, bright pink, and pure red (including a red power jacket the same vibrant color as a Coca-Cola can). I have two Hawaiian shirts and multiple bright colored tanks that I wear under them on summer days. I love color. All that being said I spend most of my time at work so color is always an accent and I live in black and gray. Grrr.

19. Do you know anyone that can touch their nose with their tongue?
Don't think so.

20. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth?
Uh, no.

21. When was the last time you were disappointed?
Every God damned day.

22. Are you guilty of taking pictures of yourself when you go out?
Uh, no. But why is the word "guilty" used?

23. Do you know how to change a baby's diaper?
Yes, even though it's been awhile.

24. What do you think about Kim Kardashian?
Um, who is he/she/it/they?

25. Have you ever watched the Proud Family?
Uh, no. Does this mean that I am now a cultural midget?

26. What do you like to do in your spare time?
Bother you people.

27. How do you picture your dream wedding?
I have pictures. It was fabulous.

28. Is there someone you've lost contact with and miss talking to?
Of course.

29. Did you ever undress Barbie dolls to see what was underneath?
No. I only undressed Barbie when I realized she didn't know where to shop and needed some help.

30. Who is your favorite Pokemon?
I don't know Pokemon. But this reminds me of the funny monster in Munchkins - Pukatchu.

31. Where is your family from?
How far back? My favorite answer is Ireland.

32. What's you favorite part of a carnival?
Games where you can win stupid things. I have a pink unicorn from the last festival.

33. Do you know someone that goes to McDonalds and orders burgers without meat?
No. But I know people who might.

34. What movie are you excited to come out on DVD?
The only thing I walked out of recently while calculating how long it would be until I could buy the DVD was Alvin and the Chipmunks. I realize that makes me sad. We buy most of the sci-fi so that becomes too much to list.

35. What Disney movie reminds you of your childhood?
The Aristocats.

36. Do you like Ingrid Michaelson's music?
Not to my knowledge.

37. Do the Saw movie gross you out?
I don't watch them. No interest.

38. Do you have a favorite show on Cartoon Network?
No.

39. What would you like to be known for in the future?
My fiction and the businesses I've started.

40. Do you like Butterfingers?
Better not lay a finger on my Butterfinger.

41. Do you like the smell of Sharpies?
Ewwww, no.

42. What's the most amount of money you've seen in front of you?
I've counted down retail drawers and made deposits in the tens of thousands. Or if you count the virtual balances that I've tended at work it goes into the millions.

43. What color is your favorite jacket?
Purple.

44. What project did you enter for the science fair?
Nada. Never did the science fair thing. I like Brian Regan's idea of "cup of dirt" though. It's a cup - with dirt in it. JUST WRITE A D ON THERE AND MOVE ON!

45. Can you handle looking at someone being operated on?
It depends on who it is. If it were a family member it would freak me out. Anyone else is pretty much ok. I have to get into a particular mental place, but I can do it.

46. If you were sent to prison, do you think you'd survive?
Yes.

47. How do you change a flat tire?
Sheesh, I just got the question in an interview. WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE? I have AAAPlus so that I never have to. So I guess the answer is "by dialing my cell phone."

48. Which of your male friends has good fashion sense?
All of them.

49. How do you want to change the world?
First, I really need a really big nappy. Then...

50. What makes you an individual?
By individual I assume you mean "a distinct, indivisible entity; a single thing, being, instance, or item." And for that there is only one answer: skin.